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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317857">The Stag and The Doe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningthief/pseuds/lightningthief'>lightningthief</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Aurors, Daily Prophet, Explicit Language, First War with Voldemort, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Jealous Severus Snape, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mild Sexual Content, Muggle Culture, Muggle London, Muggle-born Pride, Multi, Past Abuse, Quidditch, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, The Marauder's Map, jily, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:28:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningthief/pseuds/lightningthief</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily is starting to realize that James Potter isn't as terrible as she thought he was. Is it possible he is actually *gasp* a good guy? What happens when she starts falling for him? Lily and James enter their final year at Hogwarts with a trepid friendship. Find out how their friendship blossoms into a whirlwind romance. A classic tale of love and war, friendships and foes, and, of course, magic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One: Truce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first ever fic! Please review and give suggestions. I already have two more chapters in drafting right now. I'm thinking about doing alternating chapters between James and Lily. Thoughts?</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James start their sixth year at Hogwarts. What will Lily do when James apologizes for what happened at the end of their fifth year?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first fic! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter One: Truce</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Lily Evans had been at Hogwarts for less than twelve hours, and her sixth year was already off to a less than stellar start.</p><p> </p><p>It started with her sister dropping her off at King’s Cross, where they proceeded to have a row right outside Platform 9<sup>3/4 </sup>in front of several of her classmates. Then she ran into Severus while leaving the feast. He was surrounded by several of his “Death Eater” pals, who taunted her and called her a “Mudblood.” The next morning, she overslept, was late for breakfast, and didn’t have time for her usual six cups of coffee before class. This meant she had to start her first N.E.W.T. semester tired, hungry, caffeine-deprived, and pissed off.</p><p> </p><p>All of that led her to right now. James Potter was currently running down the corridor, trying to catch her before lunch.</p><p> </p><p>“Evans! Oi, Evans!” he yelled. Lily was doing her best to avoid him, and so far, it had worked out surprisingly well. She managed to avoid him on the train, at the feast, in the Common Room, and during class. Thinking about it, she thought it highly suspicious she <em>hadn’t</em> run into him until now. This time last year, he had already managed to ask her out and get rejected... twice. Perhaps this was some sort of ruse that was culminating in this very scene playing out in front of her right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Go away, Potter!” she yelled over her shoulder. Unfortunately for Lily, Potter’s legs were much longer than hers, and before long, he had caught up to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Evans,” James said, right behind her now and gently tugging her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“What?!” She yelled while turning around to face him.</p><p> </p><p>He hesitated for a moment. He had forgotten just how terrifying Lily’s rage could be. “Can I speak to you for a moment? In private?”</p><p> </p><p><em>This was new</em>, Lily observed. Usually, he just declared his love and admiration for her in front of the whole student body; the larger the crowd, the better.</p><p> </p><p>Slightly intrigued by what he wanted, she agreed. He motioned for her to follow him to a less populated area. <em>Fuck is he going to murder me</em>? Lily wondered.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to face her but continued to look at his feet. <em>Yup, he’s definitely planning to murder me.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Well, out with it Potter,” she demanded.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, he looked at her. She had never seen the look that was currently on his face. Usually, he had a stupid, arrogant smirk that made her want to slap him. Right now, he looked so…. humble. James Potter looked humble, slightly ashamed even. <em>What the fuck is happening right now?</em> Lily was frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>“I owe you an apology, Evans,” he started. “For what happened at the end of last year.”</p><p> </p><p>Of course, he was referring to the infamous lake incident that happened right after their Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. examination. Potter and his “Mauraders” picked a fight with Severus. Lily tried to intervene and was absolutely humiliated when Severus called her a “Mudblood.” She then snapped at Potter; Lily still cringes when she thinks about some of the things she said to him.</p><p> </p><p>Severus and Lily were no longer friends. As for her and Potter, well, apparently something was going to happen right now.</p><p> </p><p>“You are apologizing to me?” Lily questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” James took a deep breath before he continued. “Everything you said about me was right. I did a lot of thinking this summer, and I realized what a complete and total twat I have been to you and almost everyone in this school, including Snape. <em>Especially</em> Snape. I can’t defend what I did, and I can’t change it. But I am owning up to my mistakes, taking responsibility, and I am trying to be better.”</p><p> </p><p>“You practiced that a lot, didn’t you?” Lily asked with a slight smirk on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>“About a hundred times,” James laughed.</p><p> </p><p>She eyed him suspiciously. “Are you fucking with me right now? Because I swear to Merlin if you’re fucking with me—”</p><p> </p><p>“Lily, I am not fucking with you,” the use of her first name led her to believe he was serious. “I swear on Dumbledore’s fabulous beard that I, James Potter, am 100% serious about this.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed at that. “Okay, I accept your apology. And thank you, I really appreciate that. But honestly, what pissed me off the most was that you thought you had to defend me. You of all people should know that I am more than capable of defending my own damn honor.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighed. “I know. And you’re right. I have been on the receiving end of far too many of your hexes to be able to disagree with you. Is it lame if I say my parents raised me to be a gentleman, and I was just trying to live up to their expectations?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “Yes, a little.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thought so. It sounded lame in my head, too,” James replied.</p><p> </p><p>“Just promise me you won’t underestimate me again. My hubris can’t promise I won’t lash out again if you do,” Lily leveled with him.</p><p> </p><p>“I have never, and will never underestimate you, Lily,” James said earnestly.</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Now it’s my turn,” Lily took a deep breath. “I owe you an apology, too. I said some very spiteful things that day that were not completely justifiable or fair to you. I was angry and humiliated by someone I used to call a friend. I took my anger out on you mostly because you were there, and sometimes you just make it so damn easy.”</p><p> </p><p>James laughed at that.</p><p> </p><p>“But, the person I was really angry with, and who actually deserved my sharp tongue, wasn’t you. It was…. him,” she couldn’t bring herself to say Snape’s name. “So, I hope you can accept my apology.”</p><p> </p><p>James was quiet for a moment. “Well, I can’t say I expected this, and while I don’t think you owe me an apology, I accept.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can we call a truce?” James asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Are we at war?” Lily replied.</p><p> </p><p>“No, at least I hope not anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily contemplated for a moment. “Alright, a truce.” She held out her hand.</p><p> </p><p>James grabbed her hand and they shook, marking their truce official. They started to walk towards the Great Hall for lunch.</p><p> </p><p>“I think we handled that quite maturely,” James said, clearly proud of himself.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “I think pointing out that it was mature somewhat negates the maturity of the act.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I, for one, am glad we can put it behind us and be friends,” James said with a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Me, too,” Lily replied.</p><p> </p><p>James stopped her right outside the Great Hall. “Can I say, as your friend, I am so sorry about your mum.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily’s mother had passed away at the start of summer. She was hit by a drunk driver on her way home from work.  Lily had already lost her father several years ago to cancer, and losing her mother so suddenly and unexpectedly, was devasting. At least she had had time with her father to say goodbye. Her mother was just gone.</p><p> </p><p>She smiled sadly at James. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know what else to say, so he simply nodded and led them into the Great Hall for lunch.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It was November, and Gryffindor had just beaten Ravenclaw in the first Quidditch match of the season. The Gryffindor’s celebrated the only way they know how, with a party in the Common Room. Lily had long ago given up trying to figure out where the Mauraders got all the food and bootlegged Firewhiskey that had become staples at these types of events. She just tried to roll with the punches with them at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Her truce with James seemed to have extended to the other Mauraders. She had always got on well with Remus, her fellow prefect. They shared a mutual appreciation of respecting the rules and meticulous study habits. But now she was on a friendlier page with Sirius and Peter as well. She was surprised to find she actually enjoyed their company as opposed to being utterly abhorrent of it.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was refilling her cup of Firewhisky when she saw James. He was listening as a pair of fourth year girls were obnoxiously flirting with him, well at least they were attempting to flirt with him. They were telling some ridiculous story and waving their hands around a lot. Lily was surprised to find James looked rather uncomfortable in the situation. Especially compared to Sirius, who was absolutely eating up all the attention he was currently getting from several suitors. However, Lily was even more surprised about the pit of rage that was slowly building in her stomach. Was she jealous? <em>No</em>, Lily thought, <em>I am not jealous.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Watch out, Lily, your green monster is showing,” Marlene said, coming up to Lily.</p><p> </p><p><em>Damn her, why must she always be able to read me so well?</em> Lily thought.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lily said.</p><p> </p><p>“Cut the shit, Lily,” Marlene replied. “You’re obviously jealous of Potter’s Fanclub.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Lily chastised. “Why would I be jealous?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you fancy him,” Marlene said with a simple shrug to her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>Lily started coughing up her Firewhishkey, which was not pleasant. She had a burning sensation in her nose, and it took her several minutes to recover.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Lily asked when she could finally speak again. “I do not fancy James Potter. We are just friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Prove it,” Marlene challenged.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Lily, not one to turn down a challenge or be wrong, marched determinedly over to where the fourth years were harassing James.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Potter?” Lily said while standing behind him.</p><p> </p><p>James whipped around with a huge smile on his face. “Lily!”</p><p> </p><p>“Great match, Potter. You didn’t look half bad out there, Captain,” Lily said with a smirk. This was James’s second year as Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Something he droned on and on about during fifth year but hadn’t really talked about during this school year. Lily added this to her mental list of <em>Things That Have Changed About James Potter</em>. She is pleasantly surprised to see that list growing day by day.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks! We had a bit of a rough start, but that was bound to happen given it’s the first match, and we have all been out of training for months,” James had blocked the adoring fourth years entirely out of the conversation. Lily could tell by the pouts on their faces and the glare she was receiving that they were not happy. For some inexplicable reason, this made Lily extremely pleased.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you looked good to me,” Lily realized what she had implied by the blush that was appearing on James’s face. “I mean not you as in you, I meant you as in the team. Not that you don’t look good because you do. At Quidditch. You look good at Quidditch.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily was cringing by the time she was finished rambling. James just had a big smile on his face and looked like Christmas had come early. Thankfully, he didn’t press the issue. <em>Another thing to add to the list,</em> Lily thought. If Lily had dared to say something like that last year, he wouldn’t have hesitated to take the mickey out of her for days.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Lily.” He smiled at her while continuing to blush.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, Prongs!” Lily and James turned to see Sirius calling him from across the room while holding two shot glasses. Apparently, it was time for another victory shot, which Sirius claims is critical for team bonding.</p><p> </p><p>“Duty calls,” James said with a grin. “I’m glad you could be there today. We’ll talk later?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Lily assured him. “Go, do your thing, Captain.”</p><p> </p><p>James gave her one more grin before bounding over the Sirius. She watched him walk away and slap Sirius hard on the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed at Sirius’s expression. She turned around and was face to face with Marlene, who was wearing an annoyingly smug expression.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you fancy him,” Marlene stated. “I predict you two will be dating by this time next year.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two: The Revelation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James attend a Christmas party.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapters One and Two serve more as a prologue for the rest of the story. The main plot will take place in their seventh year. I meant for the introduction to be a few paragraphs and it turned into two whole chapters. Oops!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily and James’s friendship continued without a hitch through the end of the first term. They rarely argued, and when they did, it usually ended with laughter. The strangest part was that James hadn’t asked Lily out once.</p><p> </p><p>If this were last year, Lily would have been ecstatic. As it was, she found it concerning. And she found the fact that she found it concerning infuriating. Why should she care? Isn’t this what she wanted?</p><p> </p><p><em>Maybe he fancies someone else</em>, she thought. <em>But he hasn’t asked anyone else out. At least not that I’m aware of.</em></p><p> </p><p>This internal struggle continued for weeks until she finally shared her reservations with Marlene.</p><p> </p><p>It was Christmas break, and she was spending the holiday with Marlene and her family. They were getting dressed for the McKinnon annual Christmas party. It was a massive blowout that pretty much anyone who was anyone in the wizarding world attended.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was placing far too much concern on her appearance for the party. She had changed her dress five times, only to end up in her bathrobe with half of Marlene’s closet on the floor, and she couldn’t decide whether her hair looked better down or up.</p><p> </p><p>“Lily, why do you care so much? Is it because <em>James</em> is going to be there?” Marlene wagged her eyebrows at Lily. She loved to point out that Lily and James had advanced to using each other’s first names instead of surnames.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be silly, Mar,” Lily said. “I just want to make a good impression.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, for James,” Marlene insisted.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes at her. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t even think James fancies me anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, he practically drools anytime you even glance in his direction. The boy is completely smitten with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t asked me out once this year, Mar. What if he’s moved on?” Lily asked quietly while looking at the floor and refusing to meet Marlene’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Marlene must have heard the pain in Lily’s voice because she got off the bed and walked over to where Lily was sitting. She grabbed Lily’s chin and forced her to look at her. “That boy is head over heels for you, Lily. I know it, you know it, the whole bloody school knows it. You’re amazing; why wouldn’t he fancy you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe he got tired of waiting,” Lily suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re worth waiting for,” Marlene said. Lily hugged her best friend. “Does this mean you’re finally admitting to being sweet on James Potter?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. My feelings are all confused.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay,” Marlene assured her. “You’re still getting to know him, the real James Potter that is. But I don’t think you have to worry about him losing interest anytime soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Mar.” Lily gave her friend another hug.</p><p> </p><p>After her pep talk, Lily and Marlene finished getting ready and made their way downstairs. Apparently, Lily’s indecisiveness took longer than they thought because the party was in full swing by the time they arrived.</p><p> </p><p>Most of the guests were Marlene’s parents’ friends, and were therefore dreadfully dull. So, Marlene and Lily sneaked several glasses of champagne from passing waiters while wandering outside the dance floor. Marlene was scoping for a fit young dance partner while Lily laughed at her commentary.</p><p> </p><p>“I just want a mature partner for once. Hogwarts is full of children, and the children simply can’t handle me. I need a mature adult,” Marlene explained at a volume level that was slightly higher than usual. The champagne was clearly getting to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Why Marlene, if you’re looking for a mature adult, look no further,” Sirius Black said from behind them.</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, sauntering over to the girls was none other than Sirius Black and James Potter.</p><p> </p><p>“I said mature adults, Black, not annoying little twits,” Marlene snapped.</p><p><br/>“Ouch, your words hurt me, Miss McKinnon,” Sirius placed his hand on his heart and winced. “Can I just say how ravishing you two both look tonight. James doesn’t Lily look lovely.”</p><p> </p><p>James had been staring at her since he walked over. Lily could feel his gaze on her but avoided his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>James cleared his throat. “You look lovely, Lily.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily finally brought her eyes up to his face. He was looking at her with so much admiration in his eyes that she was tempted to look away. “Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>It was true. James Potter looked damn fine in dress robes. He honestly looked good in everything. <em>I wonder what he would look like with nothing on</em>, Lily thought. <em>Woah, girl! Where the fuck did that come from?</em></p><p> </p><p>Lily was saved from her slightly perverted thoughts by Mrs. McKinnon. “Children get on the dance floor and stop skirting around. Also, you two are underage, so I will be confiscating these.” She took the champagne glasses from Marlene and Lily.</p><p> </p><p>“Miserable old hag,” Marlene muttered as her mother waltzed away sipping from the glasses she had just stolen. She rolled her eyes. “Alright, Black, let’s see if you’re light on your feet.”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene grabbed Sirius’s hand and dragged him on the dance floor. He turned around and gave an enthusiastic thumbs up to James and Lily.</p><p> </p><p>Lily and James stood there awkwardly for a few moments, neither of them knowing what to do.</p><p> </p><p>James cleared his throat. “Would you like to dance?” He held out his hand.</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”</p><p> </p><p>She accepted his hand, and he led her out to the dance floor. She placed one hand on his shoulder, he positioned one hand on her lower back, and he lightly held her other hand in his. Lily was suddenly very grateful for choosing a backless dress. His hand was on her bare skin, and she felt like a million bolts of electricity were radiating from his touch.</p><p> </p><p>“So, are you having a good holiday?” James asked, attempting to make conversation after several moments of silence.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been staying here actually at the McKinnon’s. We’ve had a great time!” Lily exclaimed. “It’s been so nice to be out of the castle. I needed a break.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it just me, or is N.E.W.T. level kicking our ass?” James joked.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “No, it’s not just you. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I have had this term. How about you? How’s your holiday going?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s been great! My mum might not agree, though. Now that Sirius lives with us, we can keep each other entertained. I don’t think she always appreciates that.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “Oh, I can only imagine. I feel sorry for your mum, that’s for sure.”</p><p> </p><p>While they were laughing, Marlene and Sirius were dancing nearby and were closely observing the couple.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, they certainly look cozy,” Sirius commented. “Be real with me, Mar, does he have a shot, or is he wasting his time?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not wasting his time,” Marlene answered. “She’s confused right now. She just needs more time to sort out her feelings.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s my best mate,” Sirius said ardently. “I don’t want to see him get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene was quiet for a second as she thought. “They could be the real deal. Just tell him to be patient, she’ll get there.”</p><p> </p><p>One song played after another, and after a while, Lily lost count. She continued to dance with James, the conversation flowing easily between them. She found herself buzzing, and she didn’t think it was because of the champagne.</p><p> </p><p>James looked down at her intensely. “You really do look beautiful, Lily.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked up at James, and she couldn’t breathe. It felt like her heart was in her throat. With her heels on, she was much closer to eye level with James and found her face was just inches from his. She suddenly couldn’t stop staring at his lips, which were getting closer to her. She looked into his eyes, those sparkling hazel eyes, and saw he was leaning closer to her. Without thinking, she started to rise up to meet him. They were so close; she closed her eyes in anticipation and could feel his warm breath on her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Black!” Marlene yelled. James and Lily jumped apart at the distraction. “You keep stepping on my toes.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because you’re supposed to let me lead, McKinnon!” Sirius shouted back.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not my fault you suck at this!” Marlene argued.</p><p> </p><p>James and Lily laughed at the bickering couple. The moment between them clearly passed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hungry?” James asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Starved,” Lily answered. With that, they exited the dance floor in search of food and more champagne.</p><p> </p><p>Lily continued to think about their almost kiss for the rest of the night and much longer after that.</p><p> </p><p><em>This is bad</em>, Lily thought later that night while lying in bed. <em>This is very bad. Is it possible that I fancy James Potter?</em></p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>The rest of the school year passed by without any incidents. While no other intimate moments were shared between Lily and James, she could not get their almost kiss out of her head, and it was driving her crazy! She found herself thinking about his lips often and having to restrain herself from staring at them while she conversed with him.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t share her thoughts with Marlene, mostly because she couldn’t stand the smug look she knew Marlene would give her. So instead, she kept all these thoughts and feelings bottled up inside her.</p><p> </p><p>She ended up avoiding James a lot more once they returned for the new term. She spent a lot of time in the library and volunteered for a lot of extra prefect duties. She felt guilty for avoiding James because he didn’t do anything wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Being around him just confused Lily to no end. How could someone she spent years despising work his way into her heart so quickly? <em>People change</em>, Lily told herself. <em>Just look at Severus</em>.</p><p> </p><p>It was true. Her relationship with Severus was practically a 180 from her relationship with James. Severus had been one of her closest friends for years, and slowly their friendship started to deteriorate, ending in a blaze of glory because of the incident by the lake.</p><p> </p><p>If someone she was so close with could become the bane of her existence, why couldn’t the bane of her existence become her friend? Or something much more.</p><p> </p><p>Before she knew it, exams were over and Lily found herself on the Hogwarts Express heading home. Lily and Marlene managed to score a compartment to themselves and spent the whole ride snacking on candy and reading back issues of <em>Witch Weekly.</em> Lily did all the crosswords, while Marlene snagged the gossip columns.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I hope I meet a cute Frenchie this summer,” Marlene was spending the summer in France with her parents. “I just like I’ve outgrown these Hogwarts kids.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm that sounds familiar,” Lily said. Marlene complained often about the slim pickings at Hogwarts.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut it, Lily. Just because you’ve bagged one of the only good ones—”</p><p> </p><p>“Last time I checked I was still painfully single,” Lily pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“You know you could have James Potter with a simple bat of your eyelashes,” Lily rolled her eyes at Marlene.</p><p> </p><p>“We made it through an entire school year where James didn’t ask me out once. I’m telling you, he’s not interested,” this thought had unfortunately occupied much of Lily’s time lately.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m calling it right now, you two will be engaged by this time next year,” Marlene argued.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you say, Mar,” Lily rolled her eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was spared from Marlene’s response when the door to their compartment opened. They both looked up and saw James Potter standing at the entrance.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, I hope I’m not interrupting,” James said apologetically. <em>Another thing on the list</em>, Lily thought. Her mental list was getting so long, she might actually have to start writing it down.</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all, James!” Marlene exclaimed. “Come, join us.”</p><p> </p><p>James sat down next to Lily. They all sat there in silence for a few awkward moments. Marlene suddenly jumped and declared, “I am in desperate need of a pumpkin pastie. Excuse me.”</p><p> </p><p>Then she left. Lily glared at her as Marlene shut the glass door. Marlene just silently laughed, gave Lily an exaggerated wink, and sauntered away. <em>I’m going to fucking kill her, </em>Lily thought to herself.</p><p> </p><p>Lily and James continued to sit in awkward silence.</p><p> </p><p>“So do you have –” Lily started to speak at the same time James said, “Can I ask you –.”</p><p> </p><p>They both stopped talking and blushed. “Sorry,” James said. “You go first.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, that’s okay. What were you going to say?” Lily prompted.</p><p> </p><p>“I was trying to say, can I ask you something?” James continued.</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh God, </em>Lily thought.<em> This is it. </em>He waited the entire school year to ask her out, and now it was finally happening. <em>I’m not ready for this. I still don’t know what my feelings are for him.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” Lily said, while filling with internal dread.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I do something to offend you?” James asked. Lily must have looked confused because James continued, “I feel like you have been avoiding me all term. I thought we were in a good place, but now I’m worried I did something to make you hate me again.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck, he noticed,</em> Lily thought. “No, of course, I don’t hate you, James,” Lily said. She tentatively reached out and grabbed one of his hands. “I guess it’s just been a rough year for me. I’m so sorry if I gave you that impression.”</p><p> </p><p>James breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Thank God, I was so worried I did something. I’ve been wracking my brain for weeks.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “You didn’t do anything, I promise. I’ve actually really enjoyed being friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” James asked surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Lily smiled at him. “It’s nice not always arguing. Don’t you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“I couldn’t agree more,” James said.</p><p> </p><p>Lily realized she was still holding his hand, and that during their conversation they had moved much closer to each other. She found herself looking at his lips again. They just looked so smooth and <em>kissable. </em>She forced herself to draw her eyes away from his lips and look into his eyes and caught him looking at <em>her</em> lips. Like magnets, they found each other inching closer and closer together. She could practically taste his mouth he was so close.</p><p> </p><p>At that moment, the train horn sounded loudly, and Marlene yanked the door open. Lily and James jumped apart.</p><p> </p><p>Marlene had a knowing smile on her face as she took in the scene in front of her. “Sorry to interrupt, but we’re here.”</p><p> </p><p>James helped Lily and Marlene grab their bags before they all headed out into the corridor.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, have a good summer, Lily,” James said.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, you too, James,” they smiled at each for a moment longer before he turned away to get his bags and head off the train.</p><p> </p><p>Lily watched him walk away far longer than was appropriate, all while thinking about the crushing disappointment of missing another chance to kiss James Potter. <em>Fuck me,</em> she thought to herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Marlene,” Lily started. “I think I fancy James Potter.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two chapters in one night? My first chapter was long I decided to make it two instead. Which means I might five chapters by the end of the weekend! Please review!</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three: With Milk and Two Sugars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What happens when Lily runs into James Potter while running around Diagon Alley after a terrible fight with her sister?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily Evans was a young, bright, and beautiful witch. She was well-known for her poise, grace, and her canning ability to keep a cool head under pressure. Right now, she was anything but that. She was a bloody mess.</p><p> </p><p>Tears streamed down her face as she marched determinedly through Diagon Alley with only one destination in mind: away. The argument she had with her sister and her stepfather just over an hour ago kept replaying in her head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'll have you know I'm not coming home for Christmas. And I'm certainly not coming to your wedding!" Lily yelled at her sister, Petunia. </em>
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  <em>Their argument started when Petunia barged into Lily's room and accused her of taking her precious necklace that her boyfriend Vernon had given her. A little tuff had soon escalated to a full-fledged shouting match. Before long, the girls were at each other's throat in a competitive battle to see who could hurt the other one more.</em>
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  <em>"Good, no one wanted you there anyway!" Petunia yelled back.</em>
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  <em>"I hope you and your husband have a happy life together," Lily told her.</em>
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  <em>"I hope you have a happy life alone," she spat.</em>
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  <em>"Girls, please stop yelling," the girls' stepfather, Joseph, said timidly. He had been watching their screeching match anxiously. "The neighbors have already called twice asking if everything was ok—"</em>
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  <em>"Like you're not glad to be rid of me, too," Lily said. She grabbed her bags and started for the door.</em>
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  <em>"We wanted you gone ages ago, but no one had the heart to tell you," Petunia said, following Lily. "Especially Joseph, but since you were Mum's favorite, he couldn't say anything.</em>
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  <em>Lily swallowed a big gulp of air to prevent herself from crying. What she was saying was true; Lily knew it, Petunia knew it, Joseph knew it; it just hurt to finally hear someone say it.</em>
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  <em>"I'm leaving," she said quieter this time.</em>
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  <em>"You said that already," Petunia pointed out. "Go! Leave! Your freaky friends are the only ones that want you if you can call them friends. I bet you're even a freak among freaks."</em>
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  <em>"You've never been able to accept me for what I am!" Lily screamed. "Either of you! If Mum was still here—"</em>
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  <em>"Yeah, well, she's not," Petunia said heartlessly. </em>
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  <em>Lily gave them a departing glare and added, "Enjoy your Lily-free life."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Petunia's words still stung an hour later. True to her word, Lily had packed up her room and left, knowing that she would most likely never see her sister or her childhood home again. Without having a real destination in mind, Lily made her way to London. The Hogwarts Express didn't leave for another week, which meant she needed to find a temporary home, which is how she ended up checking-in at the Leaky Cauldron.</p><p> </p><p>She now found herself wandering aimlessly through the streets of Diagon Alley, wondering how she managed to get herself into such a mess.</p><p> </p><p><em>Calm down</em>, Lily thought to herself. <em>You knew this was coming. Things between us have been rocky for ages, even before mum died</em>.</p><p> </p><p>It was true. Things with her sister had been in shambles ever since Lily first left for Hogwarts nearly six years ago. Throughout those years, the Evans girls lost both their mother and their father. Instead of bringing the girls closer together, it only drove them farther apart.</p><p> </p><p><em>This is your last year at Hogwarts</em>, Lily chastised herself. <em>It's time to start looking forward to the future.</em></p><p> </p><p>Hogwarts had always been a safe haven for Lily. She needed that now more than ever. Not only were things crumbling in her Muggle life, but things in the wizarding world were looking bleaker and bleaker every day.</p><p> </p><p>Lord Voldemort and his followers were on the warpath, and Muggleborns were their number one target. Not a day went by that a murder wasn't reported about in <em>The Daily Prophet</em>. Lily's future hung in a delicate balance. Being a Muggleborn herself, she was always looking over her shoulder in both the Muggle world and the Wizarding world. Even at Hogwarts, she didn't feel completely safe. Not after everything that went down with her ex-best friend, Severus Snape.</p><p> </p><p><em>Woah girl don't go down that path</em>, Lily tried to calm herself as that fateful day from the end of fifth year came to mind. <em>Screw Severus, screw Petunia, screw Voldemort. This is my last year at Hogwarts, and I'll be damned if it isn't the best year of my life</em>.</p><p> </p><p>With that thought in mind, she closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths to collect herself. <em>Don't let them see they have gotten to you. Keep your head held high</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling much more put together than she did ten minutes ago, Lily took a few steps forward to start back on her way. She didn't get very far when she ran straight into someone, nearly sending them both into the ground.</p><p>Two hands grabbed her shoulders, two very strong and sturdy hands. "I am so sorry, are you alright?" Lily's savior said, steadying them both.</p><p> </p><p>"It's my fault. I wasn't looking at where I was going." Lily's arms were trapped in front of her, resting lightly on the man's chest as the stranger continued to hold her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, Evans?" the voice said. She knew that voice. She knew that line. Lily's eyes snapped up, and she found herself looking at the face of the last person she would want to run into right now, James Potter. This is not how she wanted to see James for the first time since admitting her crush on him two months ago.</p><p> </p><p>"Potter?!" Lily exclaimed. Lily felt a blush creeping its way up her neck and towards her cheek. She was still pressed tightly against his chest and couldn't help but notice how broad and firm it was. She found herself actively resisting the urge to run her hands all over it.</p><p> </p><p>She cleared her throat and quickly straightened herself out. She stepped out of his arms and questioned, "What are you doing here?"</p><p> </p><p>"Back to school shopping," he replied with a broad smile. His smile wavered when he got a good look at Lily's face, and she knew exactly what he was seeing. Her eyes were puffy and red, her hair was a tangled mess of curls, and the blush that was clearly visible on her cheeks, but that she knew had nothing to do with the events that happened earlier, but with the handsome man that stood in front of her right now.</p><p> </p><p>"Seriously, Lily, are you alright?" James asked, concerned.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm fine, just a little embarrassed at how clumsy I am. Sorry for nearly taking you down," Lily laughed, trying to lighten the situation.</p><p> </p><p>"It was completely my fault," James said, which was a lie, but she appreciated it anyway. "It's good to see you."</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Lily was reminded just how much James Potter had changed. All last year she watched and took note as James stopped hexing people, stop drawing attention to himself, and stopped his insistent unwanted advances on her. Because of this, they had been able to develop a tentative friendship that mostly involved awkward small talk when they found themselves sitting together in the Great Hall or in the Gryffindor Common Room.</p><p> </p><p>Their newfound friendship had also led to them nearly kissing on several occasions. Occasions she had been fantasizing about all summer long.</p><p> </p><p>"It's good to see you, too, James," Lily responded. "Fancy running into you here."</p><p> </p><p>James laughed. "Literally. You don't seem alright though, Lily. Have you been crying?"</p><p>Dammit, Lily thought. Not only had James Potter stopped talking about himself constantly, but he had also started being an observant and sensitive person, much to Lily's dismay at this particular point in time.</p><p> </p><p>"Is it that obvious?" Lily sniffled. It was clearly written all over her face. Lily hated showing weakness, she hated crying, and she hated doing both of those things in front of James Potter.</p><p> </p><p>"Just a little," James offered a small smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p> </p><p>"No," she snapped. She felt bad after looking at the pain on his face. She was being unfair, and she knew it. "It's just family stuff. Thank you for offering, but I think I just need to get my mind off things. That's what I was trying to do anyway. Didn't really work out that well since I nearly took down the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain."</p><p> </p><p>James laughed. "It takes a lot more than a pretty girl knocking into me to take me down." James looked at her thoughtfully, perhaps worried by calling her "pretty." James had lasted all sixth year without asking Lily Evans on a date, a personal record. However, they still ran into moments like this where James would drop an off-handed compliment, or Lily would catch him staring at her for a few seconds too long.</p><p> </p><p>Lily quickly brushed the compliment off, "That's good to hear. I wouldn't want to take you out before the season even started. I would be labeled 'Public Enemy Number One' within Gryffindor Tower."</p><p> </p><p>"McGonagall would have your head," they both laughed at this. It was safe to say their Head of House was more than just a little aggressive when it came to her Quidditch Team. She took a lot of pride in maintaining their claim as Quidditch Cup Champions.</p><p> </p><p>While they laughed, she couldn't help but notice just how damn handsome he was. She had always known James was good looking, even when she despised him. But recently, she started realizing that he was drop-dead gorgeous. She found herself fantasizing about him more and more each day in more graphic detail. <em>Friends can think about each other that way, right? God, I sure hope James Potter is not an accomplished Legilimens</em>, Lily prayed.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want some company?" James asked shyly. That was new. James Potter was never shy, especially not while asking her out.</p><p> </p><p><em>That's not what he's doing</em>, Lily corrected herself. <em>He's just being a good friend. That's what you are now, friends.</em></p><p> </p><p>"Sure," Lily responded with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>Together, they made their way down Diagon Alley until they found themselves seated at an outdoor table at a small café. Lily hated to admit it, but coffee was exactly what she needed right now. Her addiction was a real problem.</p><p> </p><p>A waitress came out and greeted them. "What can I get you both?"</p><p> </p><p>"Once black tea and one coffee with milk and two sugars," James responded.</p><p> </p><p>"Great, I'll be right back," she smiled, and Lily couldn't help but notice how her eyes lingered on James for a few seconds too long. She narrowed her eyes at the waitress as she walked away.</p><p> </p><p>"How did you know my order?" Lily asked, surprised. She was one of the few people at Hogwarts that preferred coffee at nearly every meal. She never thought anyone besides her best friend, Marlene, noticed. She was also impressed he noticed she took her coffee with milk and not cream.</p><p> </p><p>"Please, I've been eating breakfast with you for six years now, you don't think I noticed that you drink half a dozen cups every morning before class?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "My addiction has become a real problem. Marlene tells me it's going to put me in an early grave."</p><p> </p><p>The waitress came back out with their drinks. They drank in silence for a few moments. Lily suddenly became aware of how <em>date-ish</em> this felt. She doesn't think she had ever spent this much alone time with James Potter. She was surprised by how comfortable the whole thing felt.</p><p> </p><p>She watched James as he thoughtfully sipped his tea. His dark and unruly hair was just as unruly as ever, his hazel eyes twinkled in the early evening sun, his t-shirt was snug across his broad chest, and Lily once again found herself admiring it. She shook that thought quickly out of her head.</p><p> </p><p>She didn't even want to think about what she looked like right now. But she could only imagine how her red, cried out eyes, dark circles, and mangled hair must look. She suddenly felt very self-conscious. If she knew she would be seeing James Potter today, she would have…</p><p> </p><p><em>What?</em> Lily thought. <em>What would I have done?</em> Would she have spent a little more time on her outfit? Maybe run a comb through her hair? Maybe put on at least a dab of mascara or something instead of walking out of the house with no make-up, and in the first clean articles of clothing she could find with a rat's nest on her head?</p><p> </p><p>But why? Lily was hoping a summer apart would have set her mind straight, but instead, it only made things much worse. Instead of finding her feelings for him diminished, she found they had multiplied three-fold.</p><p>"Thanks for keeping me company," Lily said to break the silence. She was trying to slyly flatten her unruly curls with no such luck. She gave up and pulled her hair back in a ponytail with the tie on her wrist, caving in to defeat.</p><p> </p><p><em>The curls win today,</em> she thought bitterly. They usually win.</p><p> </p><p>"Anytime. I'm glad I ran into you," James said sincerely. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but I hope you know that I'm always here for you, Lily."</p><p> </p><p>She knew he genuinely meant it. She felt herself blushing again under his gaze. <em>Dammit, pull yourself together</em>, Lily scolded herself. <em>It's just James Potter</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks, James. I really appreciate that" she smiled at him. When he smiled back, she swore her heart skipped a beat.</p><p> </p><p>What was going on with her? She's never been so flustered in front of James Potter. She chalked it up to her unstable emotions after leaving her only living family and her childhood home behind. She felt her eyes burning as tears threatened to start flowing again.</p><p> </p><p>She looked down and took a sip of coffee to try and cover it. James was being uncharacteristically alert today, though, and unfortunately took notice. </p><p> </p><p>"I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but it might help," James suggested timidly. She could tell he was nervous about asking again, and she suddenly regretted snapping at him earlier.</p><p> </p><p>"It's just my sister. We had a huge row today. She's never really understood the whole 'witch' thing. Ever since I started at Hogwarts, our relationship has been tumultuous. Then when our mother passed away last summer, it seemed like all pretense of civility went out the window. With mum gone, I feel like an enemy in my own home. Today was the boiling point for both of us. Words were said, things were thrown. So, I left," Lily sipped on her coffee while she waited for James to respond. </p><p> </p><p>"Lily, that's horrible," James said. "I'm so sorry –"</p><p> </p><p>"Please don't be sorry," Lily interrupted. "I don't want to be pitied. Honestly, this was a long time coming with Petunia.  The more I think about it, the more I know I made the right decision. Why would I stay in a place where I am not wanted? Besides, Hogwarts is my home. At least for another year."</p><p> </p><p>James reached across the table tentatively and grabbed her hand. For the third time today, she felt a hot blush creeping up to her cheeks. Her hand burned from his contact. It felt much like it did when his hand was on her lower back while they were dancing at the McKinnon's Christmas party. Like a million bolts of electricity racing through her body.</p><p>"Lily, I –" James started.</p><p> </p><p>"PRONGS!" Sirius Black came sprinting towards them, with a woman trailing along behind him. "Prongs, we've been looking – oh hello, Evans."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius smirked at the sight in front of him. "I hope I'm not interrupting something." He looked at their hands, which were still clasped across the table. They quickly broke apart. Lily could still feel James's hand on hers, even after she tucked it under her thigh.</p><p> </p><p>"Not at all," James said. "Just two friends catching up."</p><p> </p><p>James winked at her across the table, and she smiled and laughed. No, not laughed, giggled. Lily Evans actually released a school-girl giggle in response to a wink from James Potter.</p><p> </p><p>"Right sure," Sirius eyed them suspiciously.</p><p> </p><p><em>Leave it to Black to make a perfectly cordial situation completely awkward</em>, Lily thought.</p><p> </p><p>"Sirius!" The woman who had been trailing behind him finally caught up with Sirius.</p><p> </p><p>She was an older woman with dark black hair in a neat bun, streaks of grey throughout. She also had kind hazel eyes and a warm smile. It was clear who she was because she looked so similar to the boy sitting across from Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"Why on earth were you sprinting? You know I can’t keep up with you," she reprimanded him. She turned towards Lily and James, as though just realizing they were at the table. "Oh, James, we were wondering where you had run off to. We were just coming to look for you. I hope we weren't interrupting."</p><p> </p><p>She kept glancing between Lily and James with a broad smile and a knowing look on her face.</p><p> </p><p>"No, mum, you were not interrupting. Why does everyone keep saying that?" James shot a dark look at Sirius. "Mum, this is Lily Evans, a friend."</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Potter was practically beaming at Lily by now. Lily stood up and offered her hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Mrs. Potter, it's so nice to meet you."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh dear, it's such a pleasure to finally meet you," Mrs. Potter said, accepting Lily's hand, cupping it between both of hers. "I have heard so much about you."</p><p> </p><p>"Mum," James groaned. Sirius started laughing behind them.</p><p> </p><p>"All good things, I hope," Lily smiled at the woman. Mrs. Potter was warm, friendly, and everything a mother should be. With a pain, Lily was reminded of her own mother.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, very much so," she replied. Mrs. Potter leaned in and whispered, "I think my son is quite fond of you."</p><p> </p><p>"Mum!" James sighed. Sirius had his hands on his knees to keep from falling over he was laughing so hard.</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled but didn't say anything. She was secretly glad to hear Mrs. Potter say that. She had started to question whether James was even still interested in her, given his lack of advances last year. She then cursed herself for thinking that.</p><p> </p><p>"James, sweetheart, we really need to get going. Your father will be expecting us for dinner," was all she said to him in response. She turned back to Lily. "It was such a pleasure to meet you, dear. I'll uh give you a moment to say goodbye."</p><p> </p><p>With that, she turned on her heel, grabbed the still laughing Sirius by the arm, and marched back towards the Leaky Cauldron.</p><p> </p><p>"I am so sorry about that," James said to Lily. "God, that was so embarrassing."</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "She wouldn't be a mother if she wasn't embarrassing. She seems very sweet. You're lucky, James."</p><p> </p><p>James just smiled and said, "Yeah, I know." He started taking out coins from his pocket to leave on the table.</p><p> </p><p>"James, you don't need to do that. I can pay –" Lily started.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry about," he said, waving her off. "You can get the next one."</p><p> </p><p>The next one. Lily's heart picked up and warmed at the thought.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll walk with you back to the Leaky Cauldron," Lily offered. Together, they got up and started walking.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks for talking with me, and for the coffee. You're right, it is my weakness," Lily said as they walked.</p><p> </p><p>James laughed. "Anytime. Now I know if you're ever angry with me again just to get you a coffee."</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled. "I do find that there isn't much a good cup of coffee can't cure."</p><p> </p><p>Before long, they arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and found Sirius and Mrs. Potter waiting.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, dear, do you have a long way home?" Mrs. Potter asked.</p><p> </p><p>James tensed and shot Lily an apologetic look. He knew she just left home and probably didn't want to talk about it.</p><p> </p><p>She found that with Mrs. Potter asking, she didn't mind much. "No, actually. I'm staying here until school starts."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh," Mrs. Potter seemed surprised. "Well, then I insist you come join us for dinner tonight."</p><p> </p><p>"I wouldn't want to impose –" Lily started.</p><p> </p><p>"Nonsense, it's no trouble at all. Right, James?" Mrs. Potter sent a sharp look to her son.</p><p> </p><p>James cleared his throat. "N-no, of course not. You should come, Lily."</p><p> </p><p>"Great!" Mrs. Potter clapped her hands together. "Then it's settled."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>And that is how Lily Evans found herself at James Potter's house.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm going to go check on dinner," Mrs. Potter announced once they arrived. "Lily, dear, please make yourself at home."</p><p> </p><p>Lily, James, and Sirius stood around in awkward silence for a few moments. Sirius was giving painfully obvious looks to James. It seemed like they were wordlessly communicating with each other. Lily was pretty sure she didn't want to know what they were trying to say.</p><p> </p><p>"Tour?" James asked finally, breaking the silence.</p><p> </p><p>"Tour!" Sirius exclaimed. He excitedly turned to Lily and linked his arm through hers. "Lily, darling, you are going to love Potter Manor."</p><p> </p><p>"Eww, please don't call it that," James said.</p><p> </p><p>"This house has been around since the 1700s. You can really see the Georgian architectural style. The name, of course, is derived from House of Hanover and the King George's. Its styling was deeply inspired by that of ancient Greek and Roman architecture, which are just classics. Timeless one might even say."</p><p> </p><p>Lily and James exchanged a looked and burst into a fit of laughter. "Sirius, I didn't know you were so into architecture."</p><p> </p><p>"I think you'll find I'm a man of many talents, Miss Evans," he said as he continued to lead her around the house.</p><p> </p><p>Lily had to admit that Potter Manor was beautiful. She didn't so much care about where the styling was derived from, but she was deeply impressed. She usually found homes like this stuffy, almost like walking through a museum exhibit. But the Potter's house seemed very lived in. It gave off a warm and welcoming atmosphere, much like the matriarch of the house, Mrs. Potter. Lily thought this was probably a very loving home to grow up in.</p><p> </p><p>She glanced back at James, who had been suspiciously quiet during the tour with Sirius doing most of the talking. Her eyes locked with his. Those sparkling hazel eyes. His face was missing his usual arrogant smirk; instead, he flashed her a sincere smile. She couldn't help but smile sweetly back.</p><p> </p><p>"Dinner's ready!" Mrs. Potter yelled.</p><p> </p><p><em>Well</em>, thought Lily, <em>here goes nothing</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please continue to leave kudos and reviews! I am thinking of doing the next chapter from James's POV/ Thoughts?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four: The Unexpected Dinner Guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily has dinner with the Potter's.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter 4! This is my first chapter from James's POV. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James could not believe that he was having dinner with Lily freaking Evans….. and Sirius, and his mum, and his dad. <em>Just figures</em>, James thinks to himself, <em>the first time I have dinner with Lily, my parents and my best friend cramp my style</em>.</p><p> </p><p>James kept sneaking glances at Lily, sitting directly across from him at the table. <em>She is so beautiful</em>, James thought. Her dark red hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, her t-shirt was snug across her chest (which he was desperately trying hard to not stare at), her creamy skin was glowing, and every time she smiled, he swore the entire room lit up.</p><p> </p><p>With her hair in a ponytail, Lily’s elegant neck was exposed. James couldn’t help but think about trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses up her neck, while lightly tugging on her ponytail, causing her to tilt her head back, allowing him to press more kisses to her delicate skin. He could only imagine the soft moans of pleasure that would escape those kissable lips…..</p><p> </p><p>“So, Miss Evans,” his father’s voice interrupts James’s fantasy (which was probably for the best since his trousers were slightly tighter than they had been a few minutes ago). “James tells us you’re something of a potions master.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughs. “That’s very kind of him, but I think James is being just a little too generous.”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius lets out his signature bark-like laugh. “Yeah, right, Evans. You’re easily the best in our year. Slughorn loves you; he basically creams his pants anytime you enter the dungeons.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sirius,” Mrs. Potter scolded. “That is no way to talk to a lady at the dinner table. Or anytime, really.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily blushed deeply at Sirius’s comment. James glared at him with a look that read, <em>Dude, this might be my only shot. Don’t fucking blow it for me</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius shot him an apologetic look. “My apologies, Lily, how very rude of me. I simply meant to convey the deep feelings of admiration and appreciation the resident Hogwarts Potions Master bestows upon you.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone rolled their eyes at him. “You didn’t have to be so crass, Sirius. Besides, you and James are just as good at potions as I am. Or you could be, if you didn’t sit in the back, passing notes and braiding each other’s hair every class.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone laughed at that. “Yes, I’m afraid my son did not inherit my love for potions,” Mr. Potter said.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, are you a potions master, sir?” Lily asked attentively. James loved the way she could do that. She could engage anyone in conversation, making them feel like they were the most exciting person in the room, even if they were the dullest person alive. It was part of her charm.</p><p> </p><p>“I used to be,” his dad admitted. “I retired some years ago. Raising these two has not been easy.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “What kind of potions did you work on?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ever heard of Sleekeazy Hair Potion?” he asked her.</p><p> </p><p>Lily nearly spit out her drink. “You invited Sleekeazy? We only go through about 50 bottles of that in our dormitory every year.”</p><p> </p><p>James highly doubted Lily had ever used Sleekeazy. He had never seen her hair be anything other than her beautiful, natural princess curls that were just as stunning and unpredictable as she was. Why would she want to change that? But James assumed she was just making polite conversation and paying her father a nice compliment. <em>I bet it’s Marlene that uses Sleekeazy, </em>James thought. <em>Marlene always takes the longest to get ready</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Marlene was the Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and they were always waiting on her to start practice, and she was always the last one to show up before matches. He also noticed she took an abnormally long time to arrive at breakfast most days. Some days she didn’t make it at all, appearing just at the start of their first class.</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Potter laughed at this. “I’m glad to hear you’re a fan. Yes, I spent many years making different hair potions, but nothing as successful as Sleekeazy. I retired several years ago, around the time Euphemia and I had James. I consulted for several years after that, but I’ve been out of the game for a long time.”</p><p> </p><p>“If your father invented Sleekeazy, there is no excuse for your hair to still look like that,” Lily said to James.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone laughed at this, even James. Lily sent a wink to James, and he swore his heart skipped a beat.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, James has always been a peculiar case. Sleekeazy has never worked on him. We think it might be based on some sort of immunity based on how he was conceived,” Mr. Potter said, with a sly look at his wife across the table.</p><p> </p><p>Lily and Sirius were howling with laughter, while James just looked absolutely mortified. “<em>Merlin</em>, dad. Do you always have to make that joke? Isn’t it getting a little old?” James groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“And miss you looking like that? Never,” Mr. Potter joked. “So, Miss Evans, is potions something you are considering pursuing post-Hogwarts?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t think so,” Lily answered. “I do love potions, but I haven’t ever really thought about it as a career.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to do, dear?” Mrs. Potter asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’ve always been interested in Magical Law Enforcement,” Lily said. James noticed she was suddenly very bashful, focusing on her dinner and refusing to make eye contact. “I’ve always been a firm believer in justice, fairness, and equality. I think too often people are accused of crimes and punishments are doled out, without the accused ever having had their fair say in court. I believe everyone has a right to a fair trial and should be allowed to speak their peace before being sentenced. Even if what they did was wrong, they should be allowed a chance to explain themselves and share their side of the story. There is no black and white when it comes to justice. There is only shades of grey.”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone was silent for a few moments. While Lily had started her speech shy and hesitant, she ended it strong and confident. <em>That’s my girl</em>, James thought. He was beaming at her, he had never heard her speak like that before, and he could not be prouder or more impressed.</p><p> </p><p>“Spoken like a true Gryffindor,” Mrs. Potter said. She seemed to have a look quite similar to James’ while regarding Lily.</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled at the compliment.</p><p> </p><p>“Hear, hear,” Sirius said, raising his glass in salute. If there was anyone who knew about shades of grey, it was the Black Sheep of the Black family.</p><p> </p><p>“Very well spoken, Miss Evans,” Mr. Potter said impressed. James knew his dad was captivated by Lily already. He had a look on his face that he only shared with a few people. For some reason, it made James swell with pride again.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Lily said.</p><p> </p><p>“I happen to know the new Head of Magical Law Enforcement, Barty Crouch,” Mr. Potter said. “I would be happy to set up an introduction.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Lily asked, shocked. “That would be wonderful! I’ve been reading a lot about his stances on dark wizards, and I have a lot of opinions. I actually wonder if he was the right choice for the job. No offense, sir.” Lily added hastily.</p><p> </p><p>Lily’s determination to speak her mind and her fierce convictions were just a few of the many things James loved about her. He was thrilled that his parents got to see that side of her tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Interesting, and no offense taken,” Mr. Potter assured her. Mr. Potter also appreciated when people freely stated their opinion, as long as they were able to back them up. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. But I’m curious, why do you think so?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Lily started. She gracefully set her silverware down on her plate and took a long gulp of water. James knew she was gearing up for a heated discussion. James cast a nervous glance at Sirius, who had stopped his bite halfway to his mouth. They were both very familiar with this side of Lily. They knew all too well the damage she could inflict with her sharp tongue and quick wit.</p><p> </p><p>“You see, sir, Mr. Crouch has taken a very radical stance in opposition to this war. Please don’t misunderstand me, this war needs to be taken seriously, and I believe the Ministry in general needs to take a firmer stance, but Mr. Couch is fighting fire with fire. He is fighting with the same ruthless brutality as the Death Eaters. And in the end, does that really make him any better?”</p><p> </p><p>“What would you do differently, Miss Evans?” Mr. Potter was not used to having such lively and stimulating conversation with young people. He wanted to challenge her. He was goading her to back up her claim and prove her point. Mr. Potter only did this when he was thoroughly engaged in a conversation. His father had a way of coaxing others to state their beliefs even when (especially when) they were not of the majority. It was why the Minister was always making house calls and sending owls.</p><p> </p><p>James knew exactly what his father was doing, and he loved every second of it. He wanted Lily to show off her brilliance and dazzle his parents. He didn’t know why, but he found it very important that Lily not back down under his father’s intense gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I would leave the handling of dark wizards to the Auror Office. Mr. Crouch does not come from an Auror background, and he lacks the proper training to make those tough calls. I believe he is grossly overstepping his role by proceeding over all trials and deciding every punishment for anyone who is involved in even a whisper of the dark arts. Just the other day, he sentenced a 16-year-old boy to life in Azkaban for evidence that at best can be considered circumstantial, but in reality, was simply hearsay. He thinks all these arrests will look good to the public when in actuality, it is just misleading the people into a false sense of security.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s an interesting point, Miss Evans,” Mr. Potter said, while deep in thought mulling over Lily’s words. He also knew, as did James, that Lily was not done. And James knew from experience; you don’t stop Lily before she’s done.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not saying Crouch shouldn’t be tough or punish those who deserve it. I believe anyone who supports Voldemort should be condemned to Azkaban, and that’s where Crouch shines. But I think it goes back to what I was saying earlier, sir. Justice and fairness are still required even in a war, not just blind rage.</p><p> </p><p>“Furthermore, I think the Ministry needs to start focusing on their own. More protections need to be put in place to protect the Muggleborns and their families. You know what they say, the best offense is a good defense. So, let’s give our people the means and ways to protect themselves. Magical Law Enforcement cannot catch every dark wizard, and until Voldemort is caught, we are all living in fear that every day might be our last.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily finished powerfully. She seemed to have realized that she had gotten very heated during the discussion and was embarrassed at throwing the “we” in at the end. Sirius and James knew she was a Muggleborn, but James hadn’t thought to inform his parents. He knew they wouldn’t care what her blood status was. But he hadn’t realized how difficult things had been for Lily, and how scared she must be feeling. He suddenly had a much more profound respect for Lily and all Muggleborns for what they have been going through.</p><p> </p><p>“Miss Evans, I do believe that is the most well-articulated and profound analysis on Crouch I have heard since he took office,” Mr. Potter said, clearly impressed. “I said something very similar myself when the Minster asked my opinion on Crouch’s appointment. Unfortunately, the Ministry is putting its public image over reason and sanity at the moment. Magical Law Enforcement could definitely use a mind like yours. You should also seriously consider a career in politics, Miss Evans. Merlin knows we could use someone like you leading us all one day.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily blushed fiercely, and James beamed with pride. “I always knew I would be working for you one day,” James said with a wink to Lily.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and with a face like that, you would be perfect for politics,” Sirius said. Mrs. Potter glared at him, so he added, “Respectfully, of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are astoundingly well informed about the inner workings of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement,” Mr. Potter observed. “Do you have a parent or a family member that works in the Ministry?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily hesitated for a moment. “No, sir, I’m a Muggleborn. I just know how to read between the lines of <em>The Daily Prophet</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Potter laughed loudly at this. “Amazing! Yes, I am certainly going to make sure you come around the next time we have senior Ministry members over. You’ll be a huge hit. I guarantee you’ll have at least one job offer lined up by the time you leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when James’s dad glossed over her admission of being a Muggleborn. She smiled at Mr. Potter, clearly pleased with the compliment but also a little embarrassed by all the attention she was receiving, evident by the slight blush on her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Potter seemed to notice because she suddenly stood up and announced, “Well, how about some dessert? Would anyone like tea?”</p><p> </p><p>“I would love a coffee,” James said, smiling at Lily. He knew she wanted one, she always had at least one cup at dinner, but would be too polite to ask. “Lily, would you like one?”</p><p> </p><p>“Coffee would be brilliant,” she smiled at him gratefully. <em>Maybe this “date” isn’t going too bad after all</em>, James thought.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Please tell your parents thank you again for inviting me to dinner,” Lily said as they stood outside on the front porch after dinner. “I had a wonderful time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad. I did, too,” James admitted sheepishly. “My parents loved you. I’m pretty sure my dad is working on your campaign strategy for Minister for Magic as we speak.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at this. “I really enjoyed them as well. I’m glad I could meet them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” James replied.</p><p> </p><p>They stood there together on the front porch in silence. This felt like that moment on the date where the guy was supposed to kiss the girl. <em>Expect this wasn’t a date</em>, James had to remind himself.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, James was reminded of the other times they almost kissed, and he had to physically resist the urge to do it right now. Instead, he said, “I didn’t know you were interested in Magical Law Enforcement.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily blushed and looked at her feet. “Yeah, I guess it isn’t something I’ve shared too much. But with everything going on, I just feel like I need to do something to fight back. And this just feels like the best use of my skills.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’d be bloody brilliant, Lily,” James said. She glanced up at him and smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“You think so?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course! Although, there isn’t much you wouldn’t be good at,” James was pleased to see her blush at this.</p><p> </p><p>“What about you? What does James Potter want to do after Hogwarts?” Lily asked with a slight smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, for a while, I thought I was going to be a professional Quidditch player,” James admitted. “But given the state of things, it seems a little foolish to be flying around on a broomstick while people are dying. Just like you said, I need to fight back. So, I think I’m going to apply to be an Auror.”</p><p> </p><p>“James, that’s very noble,” Lily said quietly. Now it was James’s turn to be embarrassed and look away. Lily reached out and lightly touched his arm. “I think you’ll be an amazing Auror.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” James said. “I think you’d be an amazing Auror, too, for the record. I’ve been on the receiving end of far too many of your hexes.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed at this. She still had her hand on his arm, and his whole body was warm and tingly from her touch. “I like it better now that we are fighting on the same side.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too,” he said. They stood like that for a few moments until she reached up and planted a light kiss on his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, James,” she said. “I’ll see you in a few days.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Lily,” he replied.</p><p> </p><p>Even after she left, he could still feel the ghost of her lips on his cheek. He reached out and touched the place where her lips had been and just smiled, his entire body warming at the thought.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Later, when James had recovered enough to return back inside, he found his parents and Sirius waiting for him in the sitting room.</p><p> </p><p>His father simply glanced up at him and stated, “If you don’t marry her, I give Sirius full permission to kick your ass and then marry her himself.”</p><p> </p><p><em>I couldn’t agree more, dad</em>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thoughts? Suggestions? Feedback? Let me know!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five: The Letter Writing Campaign</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James exchange letters.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Dear Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>My parents have instructed me that it is proper etiquette to thank guests after a lovely evening. I told them that a real thank you wouldn’t involve any letters, just lots of snogging. Mum didn’t like that.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The truth is, I have written about 100 letters this summer that I never sent you. I missed you, Lily. I felt like we became good mates last year, and I realized how incomplete our group felt without you and McKinnon around. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I’m glad I ran into you yesterday. I’m also really glad you met my parents (who still won’t shut up about you).</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>See you in a few days.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Your friend,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>James</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear James,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you very much for your sincere and heartfelt “thank you” that I’m sure was so painful for you to write. I had a lovely time at dinner, and I am glad we ran into each other, too.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I actually tried to write you several times this summer as well. With everything going on at home, I really needed a friend. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t put what I was feeling into words. Maybe I just felt like that made things more real. Feels pretty real now, though, as I write from a sticky table while drinking a pint at 2:00 in the afternoon at the Leaky Cauldron. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve missed you and the boys as well. Even though you’re all a bunch of obnoxious pricks, you’re all my obnoxious pricks.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Send my best to your parents and Sirius.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Your friend,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lily</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I am so sorry you have been feeling that way all summer. I can only imagine what you are going through. I wish I had run into you sooner or had just stopped being a prat and actually sent one of my letters. I hope you know that I’ll always be here if you need to talk. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>We will be leaving for Hogwarts soon, and instead of sticky tables at the Leaky Cauldron, you can have sticky tables at the Three Broomsticks (or the Hogs Head, have you been there? There’re some shady blokes there). </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sirius says to give his best to Marlene (those two have the weirdest dynamic, am I right?).</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>James</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear James,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Oh Hogsmeade, just thinking of Honeydukes makes me drool. I haven’t had their chocolate in far too long. On the last Hogdmeade’s trip of the last term, I stuffed all my pockets, and Marlene’s pockets, and Benji Fenwick’s pocket (he was Marlene’s flavor of the month at the time). All of that was not enough to even get me through one month of summer.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>How are Remus and Peter doing? I’ve been meaning to write to Remus all summer and ask him if he received his Head Boy badge! Do you know if he received it? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lily</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. Please tell Sirius that no, I do not know if Marlene is still involved with Benji Fenwick (although between you and me, I hope she isn’t because he’s a bit of a prat). </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>We must rectify your Honeydukes withdrawal as soon as possible. Also, I do agree that Fenwick is a right prick. He’s also a terrible Keeper, but I never said that.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Remus did not receive a Head Boy badge in his letter. I am assuming you received a Head Girl badge in your letter, though. My sincerest congratulations! But I can’t say I’m surprised because who else would they pick?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Dad says that he can really work the Head Girl angle and that next time you come ‘round for dinner, he’s going to make sure that some Ministry officials are present. He plans to not-so-slyly talk you up. He already has some killer talking points.  “Head Girl!” “Top of her year.” “Vivacious redhead” (no wait, that’s just how Sirius describes you).</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Hope the tables are less sticky today. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>James</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear James,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Your father really needs to stop feeding my ego. And Sirius really needs to be more creative. I’m pretty sure he’s been calling me that “vivacious redhead” since third year. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, I am Head Girl this year. I’m surprised Remus wasn’t appointed Head Boy. What a shame, I would have enjoyed working with him. Can’t wait to see what tosser I have to work with this year. Oh, Merlin, I hope it’s not Bertram Aubrey from Hufflepuff, he’s such a wanker.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lily</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. I’m curious, what words would <strong>you</strong> use to describe me?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lily was awoken the morning before she left for her final year of Hogwarts by a very loud visitor.</p><p> </p><p>“LILY!” Marlene McKinnon barged into Lily’s room and jumped on her bed, waking her from a very <em>friendly dream</em> about James Potter. “Ugh, I have missed you this summer!”</p><p> </p><p>“Marlene,” Lily groaned from under her pillow. “What the fuck? It’s like 8:00 am.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wrong, it’s nearly noon,” Marlene corrected her.</p><p> </p><p>Lily sat up quickly. “So late already?”</p><p> </p><p>“What were you doing last night?” Marlene asked suggestively.</p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, Lily had been up late writing letters back and forth with James Potter. They had sent nearly thirty letters between the two of them in only three days. Lily had ended her last letter on a rather suggestive note and was hoping he would write back by the time she fell asleep. Of course, she wouldn’t dare tell Marlene this.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Lily lied. “Just working on some last-minute homework assignments.”</p><p> </p><p>“I highly doubt our Head Girl would leave anything to the last minute,” Marlene smirked. “Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with this?”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene whipped out a letter from behind her back. Lily could make out her name in what was undoubtedly James’s handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>“Where did you get that?” Lily asked while trying and failing to retrieve the letter from Marlene’s grasp.</p><p> </p><p>“Tom gave it to me when I told him I was here for you. He says you’ve been getting ten letters a day. Who have you been writing to Miss Evans?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily glared at her for a moment. “If I tell you, will you swear to give it back?”</p><p> </p><p>“I solemnly swear,” Marlene promised. It was a stupid saying they had picked up from the Marauder’s last year.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Lily hissed. “If you must know, I have been writing to James.”</p><p> </p><p>“Potter?” Marlene clarified, but she relinquished Lily’s letter, nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>“Do we know another James?” Lily retorted. She ripped the letter open, anxious to see what James replied.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Your ego could always use more feeding, and the Potter men are more than happy to oblige. You don’t talk about yourself nearly enough (take it from someone who is an expert on talking about themselves). </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I definitely think you’ll be stuck with a tosser this year, Head Girl.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>As to how I would describe you, well, let’s just say it’s not really appropriate to write in a letter. You never know whose hands this might fall into.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I guess you’ll just have to wait until we are back at school for me to tell you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>James</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lily hadn’t realized how fast her heartbeat was until she finished reading his letter. Then she read it again, and again, and a fourth time just to make sure. <em>Was he flirting with me?</em> Lily thought. <em>Because I had definitely been flirting with him.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well?!” Marlene asked impatiently.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Lily had forgotten she was there. Lily made her way to her desk to write a quick reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear James,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I guess it’s good we only have one more day then. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Maybe I’ll tell you how I would describe you, too</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Lily paused at the signature. When signing off letters, they had moved from “your friend” to “yours” quickly. Lily felt like that was more personal. She secretly loved seeing James write, “Yours, James.” I made her feel like he was hers. And she liked that very much.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Your Lily.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She wanted to convey that she was his as much as he was hers. Then she just felt silly because they weren’t really anything. Just friends.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not going to give me any more details?” Marlene asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Mar, where do I begin?” Lily asked. “Come on, let’s go eat lunch. I need to send this response to James anyway.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“So, let me get this straight,” Marlene started while skimming a stack of letters Lily had been hiding under her pillow. During lunch, Lily had told Marlene everything. How she left home, running into James, dinner at the Potter’s, and the letters. “You have been sending love letters back and forth with James Potter for three days?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t call them love letters,” Lily corrected.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I think a real thank you would involve lots of snogging</em>. <em>I hope you know that I’ll always be here if you need to talk</em>. <em>Your ego could always use more feeding</em>. <em>Let’s just say it’s not really appropriate to write in a letter,</em>” Marlene quoted their letters. “This is just pure, disgusting, blatant flirting. Blimey, Lily, there’s got to be thirty letters here. When did you start this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, three days ago,” Lily blushed fiercely and snatched her letters back from Marlene. “And it’s only 27.”</p><p> </p><p>“27 letters? In three days?” Marlene asked incredulously. “Have you told him how you feel?”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” But Lily knew she wasn’t fooling anyone.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck off, don’t play dumb,” Marlene snapped. “You told me you fancied him not two months ago, Lily Evans. Are you saying that’s changed?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily hesitated. Of course, it hadn’t changed. If anything, she fancied him even more now. “No, it hasn’t changed. But what if he has?”</p><p> </p><p>“He has changed; that’s why you fancy him,” Marlene pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I mean, what if his feelings have changed? What if he’s moved on or found someone else?” Lily admitted her fears that had been haunting her for several months now.</p><p> </p><p>“Lily, do you really believe that? I mean, look at these letters, they seem much more than something friends send to each other,” Marlene assured her. “While I highly doubt he has moved on, there’s only one way to find out. You have to tell him.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Tell him?! I can barely admit to myself my feelings for James Potter,</em> Lily thought. <em>So</em>, <em>how am I supposed to actually tell James Potter?</em></p><p> </p><p>“I guess you’re right,” Lily admitted. “But I just get so flustered around him. I can’t breathe, my hands get all sweaty, and I can barely string two words together.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, dear, that’s called being in love,” Marlene said.</p><p> </p><p>“Love?! I never said anything about love,” Lily sputtered.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn’t have to,” Marlene gave her a smug look.</p><p> </p><p>Lily didn’t reply. <em>Love? I don’t love James Potter. Right? Well, maybe not yet…..</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Marlene said at the confused look on Lily’s face. “Let’s go out tonight. Get our mind off things for a while. I haven’t seen my best friend in two months, we leave for our final year of Hogwarts tomorrow, and I plan on getting absolutely pissed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Go out where?” Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Muggle London, of course,” Marlene answered with a sly smile.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please let me know your thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six: A Night on the Town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and Marlene go out for a night of drinking in Muggle London.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Lily Evans was described as graceful, poised, and collected, Marlene McKinnon could be described as the exact opposite. Marlene was high-spirited, lighthearted, and care-free. She lit up every room she walked into; she was the life of every party. She was young and beautiful, and she knew it.</p><p> </p><p>Lily and Marlene bonded during their first year at Hogwarts. Since Lily's only friend was a Slytherin (and a boy), she found herself spending more and more time in Marlene's company, much to Snape's displeasure. While the two girls couldn't be more different, they were also exactly the same. They were both fiercely loyal, wicked smart, and not afraid to stand up for themselves and their friends.</p><p> </p><p>Lily still remembers the first time she met Marlene. It was Lily's first night in Gryffindor Tower. She was scared, lonely, and shy. She hadn't spoken a word to anyone during dinner and was feeling a little lost without her only friend. Marlene approached her while she was unpacking her clothes.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi, I'm Marlene McKinnon," even at eleven-years-old, Marlene was strong, confident, and bold; it was evident in the way she presented herself.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm Lily Evans," Lily answered.</p><p> </p><p>"Excited to be a Hogwarts? I've only been dying for ages!"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm more anxious than excited right now," Lily admitted.</p><p> </p><p>"Why? You're in Gryffindor; we're brave and strong!" Marlene joked.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't feel brave or strong right now," Lily said sheepishly. "What if I'm in the wrong house? What if tomorrow, I wake up, and they realized they made a big mistake letting me in?"</p><p> </p><p>Marlene sat down on the ground next to Lily. "The sorting hat put you in Gryffindor, and the sorting hat never makes mistakes. You must be pretty tough, I reckon."</p><p> </p><p>"Really?"</p><p> </p><p>"Of course," Marlene patted Lily on the back reassuringly, and the girls smiled at each other. They had been friends ever since.</p><p> </p><p>During their time at school, Lily and Marlene continued to grow closer, while Lily and Severus started growing farther apart. Marlene was always there for Lily, and she always knew the right thing to say to make Lily feel better. She also never once judged Lily for her background, warmly embracing all of Lily's Muggle culture. Marlene loved Muggle stuff. Lily had introduced her to Muggle music, bicycles, scotch, and Doctor Who.</p><p> </p><p>Severus would always be Lily's introduction to the wizarding world. He was the first person to tell Lily she was a witch and helped prepare her for Hogwarts. But he was always trying to diminish the Muggle side of Lily, which upset her to no end. Lily was proud to be a Muggle-born, and Marlene helped Lily merge her two worlds. Marlene introduced Lily to Quidditch and the Holyhead Harpies, Firewhiskey, and Chocolate Frogs.</p><p> </p><p>Over the years, Marlene helped Lily become more confident in herself, and Lily helped Marlene become just a little more level-headed. They complimented each other perfectly. Marlene was there for Lily after her first break-up, after her falling out with Severus, and after her parents died. She was Lily's best friend, and her only family right now (as far as Lily was concerned).</p><p> </p><p>Lily and Marlene were known for getting into trouble together. The few detentions Lily had served were usually because of some scheme Marlene came up with. So, when Marlene suggested they go out in Muggle London, Lily was a little hesitant. But she ended up caving to Marlene's whims (like she always did), and that's how she found herself sitting at a bar in a pub a few blocks away from the Leaky Cauldron, nursing her fourth pint.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you believe we leave for our last year of Hogwarts tomorrow?" Marlene asked Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"No, it still doesn't seem real to me," Lily answered. "Does it all seem silly to you sometimes? Going back for another year of school when there is a war happening right now?"</p><p> </p><p>Marlene was silent for a moment. "Sometimes. But we have to finish school if we want to be any help."</p><p> </p><p>"You're right," Lily admitted.</p><p> </p><p>"Also, I'm scared," Marlene whispered. This reminded Lily so much of her first conversation with Marlene. Except this time, it was Marlene admitting she was scared, and Lily's turn to comfort her. "I'm scared to leave Hogwarts."</p><p> </p><p>"I am, too," Lily said. "We all are. Honestly, I'd consider you a fool if you weren't. But Mar, you're the bravest person I know. You are a brilliant and talented witch, and Merlin knows we need more people like you fighting for the good guys. Besides, we're Gryffindors. We are strong and brave, remember?"</p><p> </p><p>Marlene laughed. "Right. You're going to fight, aren't you?"</p><p> </p><p>"With everything I've got," Lily said fiercely.</p><p> </p><p>"That's my girl," Marlene smiled. "I'm going to fight, too."</p><p> </p><p>"I know you are," Lily said. "I feel sorry for the Death Eaters that cross wands with you."</p><p> </p><p>Marlene laughed. "Right back at you."</p><p> </p><p>Lily had so much respect for her friend. Marlene was a pureblood, and therefore had nothing to worry about after Hogwarts. By choosing to fight in this war, she was opening herself to attacks and danger. But Lily knew Marlene was sick of the injustice of it all and would fight until her last breath if that's what it took. It was one of the many things Lily admired about Marlene.</p><p> </p><p>"This is our last year at Hogwarts," Lily started, trying to break the tension. "We have a few more months, so let's enjoy it. Make it count."</p><p> </p><p>"I'll cheers to that," Marlene said. The girls clinked their pints together and finished off their drinks. "I think we need something stronger than this."</p><p> </p><p>"I couldn't agree more. Bartender!" Lily yelled. The man at the bar looked up. "Two scotches."</p><p> </p><p>"Coming right up," he said. The girls were quiet for a moment while they waited for their drinks.</p><p> </p><p>"What are the chances that Sirius and I finally hook up this year?" Marlene joked, changing the subject.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't know, Mar. Your sexual tension <em>is</em> infamous at Hogwarts."</p><p> </p><p>"You're right," Marlene sighed. "Probably second only to you and James."</p><p> </p><p>Lily nearly choked on her scotch. "Me and James? We do not have sexual tension!"</p><p> </p><p> "You're joking, right? You and Potter are all anyone has been able to talk about since fourth year. You two just need to shag."</p><p> </p><p>"Marlene!" Lily exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>"It's true!" Marlene defended. "He's been publicly declaring his love for you since fifth year, and I know you've liked him for ages."</p><p> </p><p>"Not ages, Mar," Lily corrected. "Just a few months.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, sweetheart, you don't have to lie to me," Marlene said seriously. "I know you've fancied him longer than you have let on."</p><p> </p><p>Lily didn't respond. She knew Marlene was right. If Lily was being honest with herself, she had fancied James since third year.</p><p> </p><p>"How long?" Marlene asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Since third year," Lily admitted sheepishly. Lily had never told anyone that before. She had always been attracted to James Potter, and she tried for a long while to pretend otherwise. "He's just always been so arrogant and was such a bully to Severus. I couldn't go out with someone who treated my best friend like that. But then I stopped being friends with Severus, he stopped being such a bully, and he deflated that big head of his."</p><p> </p><p>"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Marlene asked. "I could have helped you work through some of these feelings."</p><p> </p><p>"At first, I was trying to protect Severus," Marlene winced at this, she had never been a fan of Severus Snape. "I know, I know. He and James hated each other from the moment they met, and James was always picking on him. I knew Severus was jealous of James. I felt like if I admitted my feelings about James, I would be betraying Severus. Then after our friendship ended, I still worried that James was only after me because I seemed to be the only girl not throwing herself at him. I didn't think he actually liked me; I thought he just enjoyed the chase. So, I didn’t say anything because I figured he would move on soon enough, and my stupid crush would be irrelevant anyway."</p><p> </p><p>Marlene thought about all this while she sipped her scotch. "I agree with you that Severus has always been jealous of James. I mean, he's everything Snape's not: handsome, charming, effortlessly talented, well-liked. He's the whole package. But I don't agree with you that James is only interested in you for the chase. It's never been about the chase for him."</p><p> </p><p>Lily was quiet for a moment. "I just don't want to get hurt again."</p><p> </p><p>Marlene wrapped Lily up in a warm embrace. "I know, sweetheart. But I also know that James isn't like Andrew. He's a good guy, and I think you know that, too."</p><p> </p><p>Andrew Goldstein was Lily's ex-boyfriend. They dated for a few months when Lily was a fourth year, and Andrew was a seventh year. They broke up after Lily found out Andrew had been cheating on her. She hadn't dated anyone seriously since.</p><p> </p><p>"You're right," Lily sighed. "James is not Andrew. He's so much better. I was with Andrew for six months, and my feelings for him never came close to the feelings I have for James."</p><p> </p><p>"I never understood what you saw in that git," Marlene still harbored resentment towards Andrew and how he treated her best friend.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know. He was older and handsome and charming. I was young and impressionable. I was much too young to be involved with someone like him. At the time, I was too young to realize that. But he should have known better."</p><p> </p><p>Lily was only fourteen when she started dating Andrew, who was seventeen. Lily dating Andrew had been a big deal back then. Not many seventh years went out with fourth years. Dating Andrew suddenly dragged Lily into the center of attention. Girls saw her as more mature and intimidating. Boys started realizing that she was a girl, an attractive girl at that. Even older students were somewhat hesitant to approach her.</p><p> </p><p>After they broke up, many new suitors vied for Lily’s hand. But because of how things ended with Andrew, she rarely bestowed her favor on anyone. Over the last few years, Lily had been on only a handful of dates, and had not been in another relationship. Andrew had broken her heart and betrayed her trust. It’s a big reason that Lily had been so hesitant to share her feelings about James Potter.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we get two more scotches over here?" Marlene called to the bartender.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was starting to feel very tipsy and wasn't sure if another drink was the wise thing to do. Marlene noticed Lily's hesitation and rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Come on, Lily. We are supposed to be celebrating our last night of freedom!"</p><p> </p><p>Lily considered this as she watched the bartender pour their drinks. This was her last year at Hogwarts. Her last year before she was thrown into the real world and into the middle of a war. She had promised herself that this year was going to be about her. <em>Screw it</em>, she thought. <em>This might be my last chance to be young and care-free</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhh, you always know how to weaken my resolve. Cheers!" Lily exclaimed, as two more scotches were placed in front of the girls.</p><p> </p><p>The girls continued to drink for several more hours. Lily had lost track of how many scotches she had drunk and how many boys had tried to flirt with Marlene. With her piercing blue eyes, her long blonde hair, and even longer legs, Marlene was a complete knockout.</p><p> </p><p>"What happened to Benji Fenwick?" Lily asked, as yet another potential suitor walked away from chatting up Marlene.</p><p> </p><p>"Please, I ended that at the end of last term," Marlene said flippantly. "He started to get all clingy."</p><p> </p><p>"How dare he!" Lily mocked gasped.</p><p> </p><p>"Joke all you want, Evans, but this is one bird that can't be tied down," Marlene said.</p><p> </p><p>"Cheers!" Lily clinked her glass against Marlene, and the girls downed the rest of their drinks and signaled for the bartender for two more.</p><p> </p><p>"I actually heard Benji was going out with Mary MacDonald now," Marlene said with a glint in her eye. Marlene loved gossip and was a significant contributor to the Hogwarts rumor mill.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "Did something change in the last two months? I thought she was still in love with one of the Prewett twins?"</p><p> </p><p>Gideon and Fabian Prewett were prior Gryffindor students that were a year ahead of them. They had just left Hogwarts at the end of last term. Mary Macdonald, a fellow Gryffindor seventh year, had been in love with one of the Prewett twins for as long as anyone could remember. She had been chasing after them for years. She wasn’t picky, she always claimed that either one of them would make her happy.</p><p> </p><p>"You know how she is," Marlene waved her hands dismissively. "Besides, she probably needed another source of entertainment since the Prewett twins left school."</p><p> </p><p>"What on earth will we do without the Prewett twins around?" Lily joked. "They were always good for a laugh."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, and a shag," Marlene stated.</p><p> </p><p>"Marlene!"</p><p> </p><p>"What like you never thought about it?" Marlene asked. "You know Fabian always had a big crush on you."</p><p> </p><p>"He did not!"</p><p> </p><p>"He totally did. He was just afraid to ask you out because he didn't want Potter to kick him off the Quidditch team," Marlene stated.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, now I know you've had too much to drink," Lily said. "I think it's time for us to call it a night anyway. It's almost 3 a.m., and we leave for Hogwarts in less than ten hours."</p><p> </p><p>"Hogwarts!!!" Marlene yelled as she hopped off her barstool.</p><p> </p><p>The two girls stumbled their way back to the Leaky Cauldron and collapsed into bed without even changing their clothes.</p><p> </p><p><em>I feel like I'm going to regret this tomorrow</em>, Lily thought as she drifted into a drunken slumber.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was so hard to finish! I struggled a lot with the dialogue. I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>Next chapter, we are going back to Hogwarts! Can't wait for hungover Lily to make an appearance!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven: We Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily, James, and the gang head back for their final year at Hogwarts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so excited about this chapter! It's another one from James's POV. As always, please enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Where is she?" James asked to no one in particular. It was 10:45 a.m., and the Head Girl had yet to show up to catch the Hogwarts Express. James must have searched the entire train three times, and he had yet to find a trace of her.</p><p> </p><p>"Relax, mate," Sirius said casually. "I'm sure she's just late. She'll be here."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily Evans, late?" James asked incredulously. "Lily Evans has never been late a day in her life."</p><p> </p><p>"She's not late yet, Prongs," Remus pointed out. Remus Lupin, always the voice of reason. And the only Marauder that could ever keep a calm head under pressure. He was arguably their most important member with that skill.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, but she's cutting it awfully close," James said while pacing their compartment.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe it's to avoid looking at your ugly face," Peter joked. Everyone but James laughed.</p><p> </p><p>James gave Sirius a look that read <em>I can't deal with this right now</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, not a good time, Wormtail," Sirius said to Peter. Sirius grabbed James firmly by the shoulders. "Look, Prongs, I love you, but you have got to calm the fuck down. Lily Evans will walk through that door any minute, is this really how you want her to see you when she does?"</p><p> </p><p>"You're right," James took a deep breath. "She'll be here. Thanks, Padfoot."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius smiled at James and brought him in for a hug. "Anytime, Prongs."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, well, well, doesn't this look cozy," a voice came drawling from the compartment door.</p><p> </p><p>James and Sirius broke apart and whipped around to find the source of the voice. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, and hip cocked, was none other than Lily Evans.</p><p> </p><p>James's heart skipped a beat when he saw her standing there. He didn't have much time to admire her, because a second later, Marlene McKinnon was bounding into the room.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello, boys! Miss us?!" Marlene yelled while jumping at Sirius. He caught her at the last second; she was being unusually clumsy. Sirius turned to look at James with a face that clearly read, <em>What the fuck?</em> James just shrugged. Marlene was weird sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>"For fuck's sake, Marlene," Lily snapped. "Not so bloody loud."</p><p> </p><p>James took a moment to admire Lily. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that was snug across her chest, her hair was knotted in a bun on the top of her head, and she had a pair of large sunglasses on. James thought she looked rather tired. <em>Something is wrong</em>, James thought. Lily Evans was always the picture of put together. <em>Maybe she's sick?</em></p><p> </p><p>"Sirius, darling, it's been too long," Marlene cried. She gave him a loud, wet kiss on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"Good to see you too, McKinnon," Sirius said, confused. He looked around helplessly at the rest of the group.</p><p> </p><p>"Remus!" Marlene yelled shrilly. James noticed Lily wince, and her fingers immediately started massaging her temple.</p><p> </p><p>Marlene planted another wet kiss to Remus's cheek before moving on and greeting Peter in the same fashion. She stopped when she got to James.</p><p> </p><p>"James Potter! I won't kiss you because I don't want someone to get jealous," she whispered loudly while pointing at Lily.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "Ignore her. She’s still drunk from last night."</p><p> </p><p>"Wait, last night?" James looked at Marlene. Her hair looked like she had just rolled out of bed, she had dark streaks under her eyes and running down her face, and now that she was close enough, James noticed she reeked of alcohol. "You're drunk?"</p><p> </p><p>Marlene started giggling. "Shhh, don't tell Lily."</p><p> </p><p>"I think it's a little late for that," Remus said. "Marlene, why don't you come sit next to me?"</p><p> </p><p>He gently tugged her down onto the bench, and she flopped down next to him. "Lily and I went out in Muggle London last night."</p><p> </p><p>"Muggle London?" Remus asked. "How did you even get served? Aren't you underaged for a Muggle? I thought the drinking age was eighteen?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, Remus, you're cute," Lily smiled at him. "You'd be surprised what a pretty smile and low-cut top can get you."</p><p> </p><p>"That's my girl," Sirius said with a wink. "Pray tell, Lilykins, what else did you get, you little vixen?"</p><p> </p><p>"I got three boys' felfyphone numbers," Marlene said proudly.</p><p> </p><p>"Telephone numbers," Lily corrected. She started to drag two large trunks in. "No, Mar, don't help. I'll get your bloody bags."</p><p> </p><p>"Let me get them," James said, stepping forward and grabbing one of the bags from Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks," she smiled at him gratefully. Together they started bringing in the girls' trunks.</p><p> </p><p>"Three phone numbers, eh, McKinnon?" Sirius said with a wink. "Not bad. How about you, Evans. How many numbers did you get?"</p><p> </p><p>"None," Lily answered while she helped James left their trunks up to the luggage rack. "Who would look me while the beautiful and radiant Marlene McKinnon in the room? Isn't that right, Mar?"</p><p> </p><p>"I would," James murmured. He didn't know if anyone had heard him. But Lily looked at him and shot him a grateful smile. Her smile quickly disappeared, though, and she once again looked almost ill. "You okay, Lily?"</p><p> </p><p>James could see a blush starting to appear on her cheeks, even with her large sunglasses covering most of her face.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm fine," Lily snapped. "You would be in a foul mood, too, if you had to deal with a drunk Marlene trying to get onto the platform."</p><p> </p><p>James chuckled. "I don't envy you, that's for sure. You guys must have gone pretty hard last night if she's still drunk."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't even get me started. We switched to scotch pretty early on and were out until three this morning." Lily and James had finished with the trunks and sat down next to each other on the bench. "I'm exhausted."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily!" Sirius yelled, scandalized. "Do my ears deceive me? You were drinking scotch?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily winced when Sirius yelled her name. "Bloody hell, Sirius. Can everyone please stop fucking yelling!"</p><p> </p><p>Everyone looked at her for a moment. "Are you hungover?" Sirius asked.</p><p> </p><p>Lily just groaned and put her head in her hands. "Please, just whisper, alright?"</p><p> </p><p>"You are, aren't you, Evans?" Sirius looked like Christmas had come early, and he certainly did not whisper.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, alright. I'm completely hungover," Lily admitted. "Happy?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, actually I am," Sirius smiled. "Poor Lily can't handle her scotch. Let me guess, you drink it on the rocks, too. Nice and watered down for you, eh?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily glanced up, pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head, and sent her classic Evans glare at Sirius. "Do we look like little boys to you? We are <em>women</em>, Black. We drink our scotch neat."</p><p> </p><p>James, Peter, and Remus howled with laughter. Sirius glared right back at Lily. "I would drink you under the table, Evans."</p><p> </p><p>Lily stood up with her hands clenched tightly to her side. "I would like to see you try, Black."</p><p> </p><p>"Name the time and place, dear," Sirius said lazily.</p><p> </p><p>"Friday night. Gryffindor Common Room." Lily said through clenched teeth.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius stood up as well, holding his hand out to Lily. "Deal."</p><p> </p><p>They shook hands while they continued to glare at each other. James knew it was unfortunate timing, but he was extremely turned on by this side of Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that should be interesting," Remus said.</p><p> </p><p>"I want in!" Marlene yelled suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>Lily winced again. "Dammit, Marlene, keep it down!"</p><p> </p><p>"I'll take that action, McKinnon," Peter said. They shook on it as well.</p><p> </p><p><em>Bloody hell</em>, James thought, <em>this is going to be a disaster</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Lily closed her eyes and massaged her temples again. "Remus, we should get going. The prefect meeting is about to start."</p><p> </p><p>Remus, Lily, and James made their way to the door. "Where do you think you're going, Potter?" Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>"To the prefect meeting," James answered simply.</p><p> </p><p>"Which is for prefects only," Lily said.</p><p> </p><p>"Right, and the Head Boy," James had been waiting all summer to surprise Lily with this.</p><p> </p><p>"You? You're Head Boy?" Lily asked, shocked.</p><p> </p><p>"Afraid so," James answered while running his hand through his hair nervously.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry, Evans," Sirius said. "We were all surprised as well. I mean, who in their right ruddy mind would make James Potter Head Boy?"</p><p> </p><p>James shot him a look. Sirius knew James was nervous about being Head Boy. James had thought about writing several letters to Dumbledore and McGonagall to ask them why the hell they had made him Head Boy. Remus had to talk him down from doing it.</p><p> </p><p>"Actually, I think it makes perfect sense," Lily smiled sweetly at James.</p><p> </p><p>"You do?" Sirius asked.</p><p> </p><p>"You do?" James repeated.</p><p> </p><p>"Sure," Lily shrugged. "I mean you're a great leader, students really look up to, and you finally stopped being such a prat last year. I think you'll be brilliant."</p><p> </p><p>James beamed at her. He had been so worried all summer over what her reaction might be. He knew they had been getting on much better lately, but he still worried that she considered him too much of a git to be any good at the job. Hell, even James thought that. But hearing her say he'd be brilliant erased all doubt from his mind. <em>Lily believes in me</em>, James thought. <em>I can do this! </em>Hearing her say that was all the validation James needed. <em>Who gives a fuck what everyone else thinks?</em></p><p> </p><p>"Shall we go, Head Boy?" Lily asked with a sly smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's, Head Girl," James smiled back. Lily dropped her sunglasses back onto her face, and they set off towards the Prefect Compartment.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>They were the last to arrive at the meeting. Remus took his place with the other prefects, while James and Lily stood in front of the crowd. Lily delicately pushed her sunglasses back to the top of her head. She started shuffling around a stack of papers, while steadfastly avoiding making eye contact with anyone.</p><p> </p><p><em>She looks nervous</em>, James thought. James had never seen Lily like this. She was always so confident and sure of herself. It made James nervous to see Lily nervous. James couldn’t imagine what Lily had to be nervous about, she was the perfect choice for Head Girl. He noticed her eyes kept glancing at the corner of the room where the Slytherin prefects were sitting. <em>Ahh, that explains it, </em>James thought bitterly. <em>Those fucking gits.</em></p><p> </p><p>He gave her a shoulder a light squeeze of encouragement. Lily smiled at him, kindly.  James’s gesture seemed to shake Lily out of her funk. She set her shoulders straight and held her head high. <em>That’s my girl,</em> James thought as Lily’s confidence seeped back into her. James tried to ignore the murderous look he could feel coming from Severus Snape, seated in the back next to Sirius's little brother Regulus Black.</p><p> </p><p>She cleared her throat. "Right, let's get started. Thank you all for coming. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Lily Evans, Head Girl. This is the Head Boy –"</p><p> </p><p>"James Potter," James interrupted. "And before you ask, no, I don't know what Dumbledore was smoking when he made me Head Boy. Since I have basically no idea what I'm doing, I'm just going to let Lily take over, since she's the smartest girl in our year. Take it away, Evans."</p><p> </p><p>James smiled at her. "Er, right. Thanks, James. Anyway—"</p><p> </p><p>The meeting didn't take very long. Lily explained the rules and procedures for the sake of the new fifth year prefects. Then she handed out the common room passwords. The last item on the agenda was patrol duty schedules.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, everyone, almost done. The last thing we need to discuss is patrol schedules," Lily started.</p><p> </p><p>"How about everyone pick a patrol partner, and Lily and I will draw up a schedule," James suggested. "We can have it to you by the end of the Feast."</p><p> </p><p>Lily looked at him, approvingly. "That's a brilliant idea, Head Boy. Alright, any questions?"</p><p> </p><p>"I've got a question," a sixth year Hufflepuff asked suggestively while eyeing James. "Who's your partner?"</p><p> </p><p>"That would be the Head Girl," Lily snapped. "Terribly sorry. If there are no more stupid questions, you are all dismissed."</p><p> </p><p><em>Was she jealous?</em> James thought. Not that he was complaining, he would much rather be Lily's patrol partner than be stuck with some annoying sixth year. But he definitely took note of how quickly she snapped at the Hufflepuff girl. James couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful at her reaction.</p><p> </p><p>As the prefects started to leave, James noticed Bertram Aubrey, a seventh year Hufflepuff, approach Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"Congrats on Head Girl, Lily," Aubrey said. "I knew you would get it."</p><p> </p><p>James tried to pretend he wasn't listening, but he was literally hanging on to every word. <em>I knew that git had a thing for her,</em> James thought. James noticed Snape milling around, also trying to eavesdrop on Lily and Aubrey's conversation. <em>Dammit, I knew Snape still had a thing for her, too. Can she stop being so bloody attractive and fanciable? </em></p><p> </p><p>"Thanks, Bertram," Lily said. James couldn't help but smile at how less than enthusiastic Lily sounded to be talking to him.</p><p> </p><p>Clearly, Aubrey couldn't take a hint because he continued talking. "I missed you this summer."</p><p> </p><p>Lily flinched at this. "Oh, um, thank you."</p><p> </p><p>"So, I was thinking –" Aubrey started. But James had heard enough. He walked over to them and put his hand on Lily's shoulder again.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry to interrupt," James said smoothly. "Lily, we should really get to work on those patrol schedules if we want to hand them out at the feast."</p><p> </p><p>Lily flashed him a grateful smile. "Yes, you're right, James. Sorry, Bertram, you'll have to excuse us. Lots of work to do."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, of course," Aubrey said, disappointed. "I'll just go, I guess."</p><p> </p><p>"That's probably best, mate," James smiled broadly at him.</p><p> </p><p>Once Aubrey left and the door closed behind him, Lily let out an audible sigh. "Thank you. Ugh, I never thought he'd leave."</p><p> </p><p>"I could see how uncomfortable you were across the room, Evans," James joked.</p><p> </p><p>Lily stuck her tongue out at him. She glanced around the room to make sure they were alone. Then she whipped out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Finally, I've been craving a smoke all day."</p><p> </p><p>James gaped at her as she propped the window open and lit up. "Since when do you smoke?"</p><p> </p><p>"On and off since I was about fifteen," James continued to gape as she blew out a puff of smoke. "Don't give me that look, Potter. I only smoke when I'm drunk, hungover, or stressed."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily Evans, you surprise me every day," James shook his head at her.</p><p> </p><p>She just smiled at him. "Want one?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, all right," James agreed.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in silence for a while as they smoked. </p><p> </p><p>"I need you to do me a favor," Lily finally said, breaking the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything," James replied immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Lily gave him a small smile. "You don't even know what it is yet."</p><p> </p><p>"Doesn't matter," James assured her.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "It's quite silly, actually. I feel embarrassed for even asking. This year, I would really appreciate it if you could handle the Slytherin prefects. With everything that has happened, I just don't think I could do it."</p><p> </p><p>"Of course, Lily," James said. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, though. All of those fuckers have treated you like shit for years. No one should have to put themselves through that."</p><p> </p><p>“I just feel like it shouldn’t bother me as much as it does,” Lily admitted. “Like you said, they’ve been doing it for years, so I should be used to it by now. I hate that I let them get to me. I wish I was tougher.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” James started soothingly. “Don’t be like that. You are literally the toughest girl I know, Lily. And just because they have been harassing you for years, doesn’t mean you should just accept their bigotry. It’s fucking disgusting. I can’t stand it, and I’m not even the one who has to deal with it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think I’m the toughest girl you know?” Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Without a question,” James said fervently.  </p><p> </p><p>"Thanks, James," she smiled at him sweetly.</p><p> </p><p>"Anytime," James smiled back. "So, Aubrey? He seems pretty smitten with you."</p><p> </p><p>Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes. "He's a shit."</p><p> </p><p>James laughed loudly. "So, if he asked you out like he so clearly wanted to, what would you say?"</p><p> </p><p>"I would say no," Lily said without hesitation. "He's such a fucking prat. Besides, he's not the one I want to go out with."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, so there's a 'one'?" James smirked at her. He played it cool on the outside, but James was going crazy on the inside. <em>Could she be talking about me?</em></p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "Come on. Everyone is probably wondering where we are."</p><p> </p><p>They both flicked their cigarettes out the window and started making their way towards the door and back towards their friends.</p><p> </p><p><em>So, there is someone she wants to go out with</em>, James thought. <em>Who could it be?</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight: Welcome Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The gang arrives for their final year at Hogwarts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is more of a filler chapter to move the plot along. But, we get our first look at Professor McGonagall! Love that woman. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The remainder of the train ride passed without much incident. Marlene spent most of the journey passed out on Remus’s shoulder while he read a book. Sirius and Peter played several rounds of Exploding Snap, while Lily and James worked on the patrol schedule.</p><p> </p><p>As the train approached Hogsmeade Station, Lily and Marlene excused themselves to change into their robes. Lily also had to help a now hungover Marlene make herself more presentable for their arrival.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I really challenge Peter Pettigrew to a drinking contest?” Marlene asked while Lily wiped mascara off her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, dear,” Lily answered. “But don’t feel too stupid. I challenged Sirius Black, and I don’t even have the excuse of being drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene laughed. “Lily, you never have been able to back down from a challenge.”</p><p> </p><p>“Once again, my hubris gets the best of me,” Lily said bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>They had to pause for a few minutes while Marlene threw up. Lily stroked her hair soothingly and readied a damp washcloth for Marlene to wipe up with.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t they make a potion for this?” Marlene groaned while propping her face up on the toilet seat.</p><p> </p><p>“For hangovers? If they do, they don’t teach it at Hogwarts,” Lily scoffed. “Trust me. If I knew it, I would have fixed my problem already.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure Slughorn would tell you if you asked nicely,” Marlene argued. “That man loves you. Wait, does this mean you were hungover today?”</p><p> </p><p>“Really, Mar?” Lily questioned. “I know you weren’t exactly with it today, but just look at me. I’m a bloody mess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now that you mention it, your hair is looking dreadful,” Marlene joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Sod off,” Lily snapped. “I’m so embarrassed. The last two times I have seen James, I’ve been in a ghastly state. Why can’t he ever see me when my hair is shiny, with my make-up done perfectly, and just in a fucking killer outfit?”</p><p> </p><p>“So, do that,” Marlene said simply. “It’s not like you won’t see him every day for the next several months. Truthfully though, I am positive James will always find you beautiful. No matter what.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Mar,” Lily said as her best friend started vomiting again.</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh, I’ll do that, alright</em>, Lily thought. <em>Potter won’t even know what hit him</em>.</p><hr/><p>After Marlene was cleaned up and everyone was changed into their robes, the train finally made its way onto the platform. The four Marauders, Lily, and Marlene started making their way to the carriages that would carry them back to school.</p><p> </p><p>“You all go on ahead,” James said as their friends climbed into a carriage. “Lily and I have to help Hagrid wrangle the first years. We’ll catch you guys at the feast.”</p><p> </p><p>“Save us a seat,” Lily said while waving to them. She turned to James. “Shall we?”</p><p> </p><p>“We shall,” James replied.</p><p> </p><p>“Firs’ years! This way!” a familiar voice was heard booming behind them. The Head Boy and Girl made their way towards the boats to greet Hagrid.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Hagrid,” James said with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“James! And Lily!” Hagrid smiled at the two teenagers. “Dumbledore told me you two were going to be Head Boy and Head Girl this year. I hope you can keep this one in line, Lily.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. “I don’t even know if I have that power.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, I’m right here,” James said indignantly.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed again. “Come on, let’s go round-up some first years.”</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t very long for the Head students to gather the first years. They were easy to recognize by the look of pure terror on their faces. Lily remembers feeling equally terrified before her sorting.</p><p> </p><p>When Lily finished, she looked around to find James so they could head up to the castle. When she didn’t immediately see him, she wondered if he went up without her. Then she spotted that mop of unruly black hair.</p><p> </p><p>He was crouched on one knee, so he was face to face with a small first year. Lily made her way over to them.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re scared,” James said in a calming voice. “I was too before my sorting. Everyone is. But I promise, once it’s over and you’re sorted into a house, it’ll all be worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>The first year sniffled. “Yeah?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. You’re going to meet your best mates who will become your family,” James said. “Trust me.”</p><p> </p><p>The boy smiled up at James. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” James replied. “I did. I met my brothers in Gryffindor. Even though school is hard sometimes, they make it all worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cool,” the boy said with a broad smile.</p><p> </p><p>“But you got to get sorted first,” James said while standing up. “So, hurry up, the boats are leaving any second.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks!” After one more smile to James, the boy ran off for the boats.</p><p> </p><p>Lily stood there for a moment watching James, thinking about the conversation she overheard. <em>He was so patient and kind</em>, Lily thought. <em>He sounded so unlike the James Potter I used to know</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“That was really sweet, James,” Lily said while approaching James.</p><p> </p><p>James jumped. “I didn’t see you there. It was nothing. Just doing my job.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily was still studying him. <em>He always surprises me</em>. “Right. Well, we should head up.”</p><hr/><p>They caught one of the last carriages heading back up to the castle. When they finally arrived, they found Professor McGonagall waiting in the Entrance Hall.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Professor McGonagall,” Lily greeted her cheerily. McGonagall had always been Lily’s favorite teacher.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, Evans, Potter. Good, I’ve been waiting for you,” Professor McGonagall said. “I need to speak with you for a moment before the first years arrive.”</p><p> </p><p>She gestured for them to follow her, and they made their way to empty classroom off the Entrance Hall.</p><p> </p><p>“First, I want to offer you both my sincere congratulations,” McGonagall started. “It is a rare occurrence that we have two Head students from the same house, and I am so proud that we have two Gryffindors this year. You two set the standards for the other students to follow, so I expect you both to set a good example.  So, don’t embarrass me.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily could have sworn her gaze lingered on James when she said that last part.</p><p> </p><p>“Second, here is all the information you need for the Heads Office.” She handed Lily a slip of parchment. “That has the password for it, please don’t lose it. Also, I expect that password to be kept between the two of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Lily felt like McGonagall’s glare lingered on James for a moment too long.</p><p> </p><p>“Third, please have the Hogsmeade dates for this term decided by the end of the week. Any questions?”</p><p> </p><p>They both shook their heads in response. “Good. Well, that about covers it. Run along to the feast.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily and James turned to leave the room. “Oh, and Mr. Potter?”</p><p> </p><p>James sighed before he turned back around. “Yes, Professor McGonagall?”</p><p> </p><p>“I expect to see the Quidditch Cup residing in my office at the end of the year. So, let’s try and keep the <em>distractions</em> to a minimum. Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” James replied. She nodded at them both, and James and Lily made their way to the fest.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that about?” Lily asked as they walked. “Was she talking about your pranks? Because I think you all pranked a lot less last year.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t think she was talking about pranks,” James said while steadily avoiding eye contact with Lily. She didn’t have a chance to question what he meant, because they had arrived at the Great Hall. They quickly made their way to the Gryffindor table and sat next to their friends.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hmm, I wonder what that was about?</em> Lily asked to herself.</p><hr/><p>After the sorting was finished and the food was devoured, Dumbledore addressed the students of Hogwarts.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts,” Dumbledore started. While Dumbledore looked exactly the same as he always did, Lily thought some of his usual sparkle seemed diminished. It looks like whatever was brewing in the outside world was slowly seeping its way into Hogwarts. “Before you all go off to bed, I wanted to share a few words. As most of you know, there is a wizard at large, who is terrorizing the magical world. This man is specifically targeting Muggleborns.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily could feel James tense up beside her. She glanced over and saw his fists were clenched tightly around the edge of the table. James had always been very sensitive to the torment of Muggleborns. Lily sometimes thought it bothered him more than her, and she <em>was</em> a Muggleborn!</p><p> </p><p>“I want to be clear that Hogwarts is a safe place. All witches and wizards, no matter their blood status, will always be welcomed with open arms at Hogwarts. I also want to remind everyone that in these dark times, we could all use a little more light, love, and laughter. With that, I bid you all adieu. Good night and good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>Hundreds of students started to rise and make their way towards to exit.</p><p> </p><p>“A bit of a damper to start the year off, eh?” Sirius said.</p><p> </p><p>“But he’s right,” Marlene said firmly. “We should take his advice. We could all use some more love and laughter.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily could feel Marlene’s eyes burning into her, but she refused to meet her gaze. She knew precisely what Marlene was implying. Marlene still couldn’t understand why Lily hadn’t told James about her feelings. <em>And she won’t bloody shut up about it</em>, Lily thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Right,” Lily said. “Remus, would you please direct the first years back to Gryffindor Tower? James and I need to hand out the patrol schedules.”</p><p> </p><p>“No problem,” Remus said. “First years, follow me!”</p><p> </p><p>“James, darling,” Lily started with a sweet smile. “Would you be a dear and hand out the patrol schedules to the Slytherin and Hufflepuff prefects?”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius howled with laughter. “Oh, he’ll be a deer, alright, Evans.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, Padfoot,” James growled through gritted teeth. “Yes, Lily, I don’t mind interacting with the several men you’re trying so adamantly to avoid.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok-ay,” Lily said while eyeing the two of them. “You’re being weird. I’ll just see you both in the Common Room.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily dragged Marlene off towards the Ravenclaw table to find Dorcas Meadowes, a seventh year Ravenclaw prefect. Dorcas was a good friend of Lily’s. The two of them had bonded and gotten very close through their various prefect duties and study groups. Dorcas was a tall and thin girl with dark skin and beautiful brown hair. Much like Marlene, she was considered a knockout amongst the students of Hogwarts. It didn’t hurt that she was wicked smart and Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team.</p><p> </p><p>“Dorcas!” Lily shouted. It was always easy to spot Dorcas since she stood a good head taller than most of the students.</p><p> </p><p>Dorcas whipped her head around at the sound of her name. Lily was hard to miss with her flaming red hair. “Lily!”</p><p> </p><p>The two girls embraced when they found each other. “It’s so good to see you! I’m so sorry we couldn’t catch up at the prefect meeting earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Dorcas brushed her off. “You seem to have your hands full with Potter.”</p><p> </p><p>“In more than one way,” Marlene interjected with a wink. “Good to see you, Meadowes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Marlene,” Lily scolded. “She’s kidding. Please ignore her. Merlin knows I do.”</p><p> </p><p>Dorcas laughed. “Oh, McKinnon, I did miss you this summer.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, come off it. I know you were secretly hoping I would break my leg or have some other injury to keep me off a broom this year,” Marlene joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Me? Never,” Dorcas assured her. “Gryffindor wouldn’t be nearly as fun to beat without the best seeker in the school playing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Meadowes, you sure know how to make a girl blush,” Marlene said with a flip of her hair and a giggle.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. Marlene and Dorcas were famous for their unresolved sexual tension<em>. They should just make out already</em>, Lily thought bitterly. She was always the third wheel between these two. Lily was dying for Marlene and Dorcas to get together. Their witty back and forth banter had been going on for years, but both were too proud and stubborn to admit it. Not to mention Marlene was too busy shagging anything that moved to be interested in a serious and committed relationship.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok-ay,” Lily interrupted. “Dorcas, I just wanted to give you the patrol schedule. Could you make sure the other Ravenclaw prefects get it?”</p><p> </p><p>“No problem, Lily,” Dorcas assured her. “Congrats on getting Head Girl, by the way. We still on for our study group?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Lily said. “Thursday nights?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect,” Dorcas smiled. “You should bring McKinnon along.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re on,” Marlene smirked at Dorcas.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes again. “Alright, we’re leaving. See you later, Dorc!”</p><p> </p><p><em>Whatever happens, it’ll be an interesting final year at Hogwarts</em>, Lily thought as she and Marlene made their way to Gryffindor Tower.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanted to take a moment to address the transphobic remarks JK Rowling made (once again). It hurts my heart to hear anyone speak with such hatred and ignorance, but it especially hurts coming from an author who I used to adore. I don't agree with anything Jo said. Trans women are women, and no one should be able to question that. I think Eddie Redmayne said it very well when he said: "Trans women are women, trans men are men and nonbinary identities are valid." I stand by and support all women!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine: Secrets and Snacks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James exchange secrets over steaming mugs of hot chocolate.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I feel like this chapter took me forever! I hope you all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily couldn't sleep. It had to be well after midnight, but she could not fall asleep. She was tired, at least she should have been. Lily and Marlene had stayed out until three in the morning the night before drinking. Then, a hungover Lily had to deal with a drunk Marlene all day, so she should have been exhausted. As it was, she kept tossing and turning, much to the displeasure of her dormitory mates.</p><p> </p><p>"Evans, I swear to fucking Merlin, if you don't fucking shut up I'm going to murder you," Mary MacDonald threatened from her four-poster across the room.</p><p> </p><p>Lily, not wanting to start World War 3 with Mary, didn't need to be told twice. She slipped out of bed, grabbed her shoes, and made her way to the Common Room.</p><p> </p><p>Lily, Mary, and Marlene had been very good friends until fourth year when Lily noticed that Mary had started to distance herself from Lily and Marlene. Lily had tried to bring her concerns up to Mary, hoping the girls could work through whatever issues they were having. But Mary always brushed her off, insisting that nothing was wrong. Their friendship came to screeching halt at the end of fourth year after Mary had yelled at Lily in front of the entire Gryffindor Common Room. Lily had been distraught after Andrew admitted to cheating on her and had sought solace in Mary. However, Mary seemed to have a different opinion. She claimed Lily was lucky to have had Andrew, and maybe if she hadn't been such a prude and just had sex with him, he wouldn't have cheated. Then, in front of the entire common room, she admitted that <em>she</em> had been the one who slept with Andrew.</p><p> </p><p>Things changed drastically in their dormitory after that incident. Instead of everyone getting along pleasantly as they had in the past, it became a war zone. Suddenly it was Mary versus Lily, and everyone chose sides. Marlene, being Lily's best friend, sided with Lily and vowed to hate Mary MacDonald until her last breath. Susan Corner and Lisa Davis, their other dormitory mates, had sided with Mary. Their living arrangements become much tenser after that.</p><p> </p><p>Marlene believes that Mary likes what she can't have and claims that Mary was just jealous because boys started to notice Lily and Marlene and weren't noticing Mary. Lily initially blew her off because Marlene thinks everyone is jealous of her (which to her credit, they usually were). However, after Mary slept with Lily's boyfriend, she couldn't help but agree with Marlene. It didn't stop there either. In addition to her infatuation with the Prewett twins, Mary has been throwing herself at James Potter (unsuccessfully), and whatever Marlene's flavor of the month was (with mixed results) ever since.</p><p> </p><p><em>Just once I want to punch her in the face</em>, Lily thought while she walked down the stairs. Marlene got to do it in fifth year, and it looked bloody awesome.</p><p> </p><p>Lily, daydreaming about punching Mary MacDonald in the face, did not notice that she wasn't alone in the Common Room. She plopped down on her favorite armchair beside the hearth, and she nearly jumped out of it when a voice spoke to her from the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"Couldn't sleep either, eh Evans?" James Potter sat on the couch, smirking.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck," Lily gasped. "Potter, I didn't see you there. You startled me."</p><p> </p><p>"I noticed," he continued to smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"Piss off," James laughed. Lily tried to get her heart rate to slow down. "To answer your question, no, I couldn't sleep. I was keeping everyone awake with my tossing and turning, so I was banished down here. What about you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Pretty much the same," James replied. "Although I wouldn't say I was banished. That sounds pretty harsh."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, you know how Mary can get," Lily said grimly.</p><p> </p><p>James's smile fell from his face. "Yeah, we all know how she can get."</p><p> </p><p>They were quiet for a minute when James spoke up again. "You know, that was really fucked up what she did to you. We weren't friends back then, so I never got a chance to say anything to you. But I'm really sorry about what happened."</p><p> </p><p>She gave him a small smile. "Thanks. It was so long ago now, though; I don't really think about it too much anymore. It's really Marlene she has the beef with now, ever since Mar punched her in the face."</p><p> </p><p>James laughed. "God, I remember that day so fondly. It was at the Three Broomsticks, right?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yea," Lily answered. "Marlene was on a date with Sophie Perks, and Mary came over and started to hit on Sophie while they were on a date."</p><p> </p><p>James rolled his eyes. "That sounds like Mary."</p><p> </p><p>"She doesn't even like girls!" Lily exclaimed. "Marlene had just come out as bisexual, and that was her first date with a girl. She was so nervous. So, when Mary came over, Marlene just snapped."</p><p> </p><p>"We were so proud of her that day," James said warmly.</p><p> </p><p>"Why's that?" Lily asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, for one thing, she came out to everyone. That couldn't have been easy for her, but she did it anyway," James said. "Then she stood up for herself against Mary. I mean, hasn't Mary dated like all of Marlene's exes?"</p><p> </p><p>"She's tried," Lily scoffed. "She's rarely successful."</p><p> </p><p>"That's because the people who date you and Marlene have very high standards," James said sweetly. "They wouldn't slum it with Mary MacDonald."</p><p> </p><p>Lily's eyes fell to her lap, and she felt her cheeks flush red. "Mine did. My boyfriend slept with her while he was with me. What's that say about me?"</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing," James said firmly. When she didn't look up, James left the couch and crouched down next to her chair, placing a hand on Lily's knee. She momentarily forgot how to breath with her skin burning beneath James’ touch. "It doesn't say anything about you. Andrew Goldstein is a dullard for letting you go."</p><p> </p><p>Lily had to smile at how sincere he sounded. She had rarely heard James speak with such conviction. "I know. But thank you."</p><p> </p><p>They smiled at each other, and Lily realized he still had his hand on her knee. She was suddenly very aware of how close they were and that she was only wearing a flimsy t-shirt and pajama pants. She shivered and rubbed her arms.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you cold?" James asked.</p><p> </p><p><em>No, I just want to spontaneously combust every time you touch me</em>, was what Lily wanted to say. Instead, she simply nodded.</p><p> </p><p>James took off his jumper, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. Lily couldn't help but stare at the sliver of skin that showed as he pealed his jumper off.</p><p> </p><p>"Here," James handed Lily his jumper.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks," she mumbled as she dragged it on. She couldn't help but deeply inhale the scent of James that lingered. It smelled like peppermint, and she swore she had never smelled anything better in her entire life.</p><p> </p><p>"I think we could use some hot chocolate," James suddenly announced.</p><p> </p><p>"What!" Lily exclaimed with a laugh. "James, it's 1:00 a.m. Where are we going to get hot chocolate from?"</p><p> </p><p>James fixed her with a serious gaze. "Do you trust me?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily thought about it for a second. <em>Do I trust him?</em> Even when she couldn't stand James, she couldn't deny that he was loyal and dependable. He had always been there for her. So yes, she trusted him unequivocally. James Potter was one of the few people Lily knew she could always rely on.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," Lily said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>James beamed at her in response.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"James, I still can't believe you have a real invisibility cloak," Lily hissed as they crept down the corridor towards the kitchen. "I mean, aren't these really rare?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, real ones are," James admitted. "It's been in my family for ages, though."</p><p> </p><p>"But how –" a loud noise at the end of the corridor made Lily and James freeze on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>"What was that?" she hissed. She instinctively took a step backward under the already cramped cloak, and she found her back pressed directly against James's chest. She felt her heart rate drastically increase, and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the fear of being caught.</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck," James mumbled. He quickly whipped something out of his pocket.  <em>Is that a piece of parchment?</em> Lily asked herself. "Lily, I am going to show you something, but you have to swear that you won't breathe a word of this to anyone."</p><p> </p><p>"I swear," Lily said.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily," James warned. "You need to mean it."</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "I solemnly swear."</p><p> </p><p>James nodded at her. He unfolded the parchment and brought his wand up to it. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."</p><p> </p><p>Lily gasped as ink started to appear on the parchment. "Is that a map?" Lily gawked as the ink blossomed into what appeared to be – "Hogwarts. That's Hogwarts."</p><p> </p><p>James grinned at her shocked expression. "This is the Marauder's Map."</p><p> </p><p>"Marauder's?" Lily asked. "You mean to tell me that you made this?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter did," James admitted. "We've been working on this for years."</p><p> </p><p>"James, this is amazing," Lily said in awe. "I mean, this is really incredible magic."</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks," James smiled at her. He glanced back down at the map. "Shit, Filch is coming this way. Let's hurry."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Using the map and the invisibility cloak, Lily and James were able to navigate their way around the castle unseen successfully. James stopped in front of a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Lily gave James a confused look.</p><p> </p><p>"Tickle the pear," James said with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me?" Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Just do it, Evans," James continued to smirk.</p><p> </p><p>Lily reached out to tickle the pear and gasped when a doorknob appeared. She glanced at James, who nodded at her encouragingly. She hesitantly reached out and turned the knob.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they walked through the kitchen, they were bombarded by House Elves.</p><p> </p><p>"Master James," they repeated as they huddled around James and Lily.</p><p> </p><p>"Please, I've told you it's just James," James said with a blush.</p><p> </p><p>"Come here often, do you?" Lily asked with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe once or twice," James said, running his hand in his hair. <em>It used to drive me nuts when he did that…</em>Lily thought as she watched James tousle his hair. <em>I guess it still does but in a whole different way. A way that makes me want to run <strong>my</strong> fingers through his hair.</em></p><p> </p><p>While Lily was imagining how smooth James Potter's hair would feel as she ran her fingers through it, the House Elves were busy getting the hot chocolate that James had requested. Lily was only pulled out of her daydream when she felt something tugging on her hand.</p><p> </p><p>"This way, madam," a House Elf was pulling Lily towards the table they had set up with the hot chocolate.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, thank you very much," Lily smiled as she and James sat down at the table. Lily was shocked to see not only two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, but also an assortment of marshmallows, biscotti, and other delicious treats perfect for a midnight snack.</p><p> </p><p>"So, everything makes so much more sense now," Lily smirked at James.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?" James asked.</p><p> </p><p>"How you lot have managed to sneak around this castle for six years. You have an invisibility cloak and a magical map to show you where everyone is at all times!" Lily was shaking her head at James. "I mean, it's a wonder you've ever gotten caught with those items on your side."</p><p> </p><p>James laughed. "Yes, well, we only just finished the map in fifth year, so before that, we were just wondering around blind. Plus, as we have grown, it has gotten rather tight under the cloak with the four of us, so we usually have to forgo that."</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "So, since you've shared two secrets with me tonight, I feel like it's only fair that I share one of mine."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh?" James said with a smirk. "Share away, Head Girl."</p><p> </p><p><em>I hopelessly and irrevocably fancy you, James Potter</em>. Is what Lily was desperate to say. It was right on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she said, "Do you remember in fifth year when Mrs. Norris ended up on the top of the North Tower?"</p><p> </p><p>James gaped at her. "No way! Filch was convinced that was us!"</p><p> </p><p>"It was Mar and me," Lily confessed.</p><p> </p><p>James howled with laughter. "That was bloody brilliant! I had no idea that you had it in you."</p><p> </p><p>"There's a lot you don't know about me," Lily said with a blush.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I'd really like the chance to find out," James said shyly.</p><p> </p><p>"I'd like that, too," Lily smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>"You know, I think you owe me one more secret," James said with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, do I?" Lily mocked.</p><p> </p><p>"I told you about my cloak <em>and</em> the map," James insisted. "It's only fair."</p><p> </p><p>"Hmmm, I suppose I do owe you one more," Lily contemplated for a moment. "Okay. Remember how I told you that I smoke occasionally? Well, my favorite spot to sneak a cigarette is at the top of the Astronomy Tower. I like to sneak up there from time to time. I find it's a great spot to clear my head when I need to think."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily Evans, you really are a rulebreaker," James joked. "I find the best place for me to think and clear my head is the Quidditch Pitch."</p><p> </p><p>"Why am I not surprised?"</p><p> </p><p>James offered her a small smile. "Sometimes, I feel like it's the only place where things make sense to me."</p><p> </p><p>"I know what you mean," Lily said softly. James gave her a confused look. "I mean not the Quidditch Pitch, but I used to have a similar place."</p><p> </p><p>"Used to?" James asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Lily answered. "There is this little park close to my house, where I would spend hours on the swing set. I used to think there was no problem I couldn't solve on the swings."</p><p> </p><p>"What happened?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Well, I used to go there every day with Petunia, and it's where I met Severus, so those memories have forever tainted that spot</em>. "Too many ghosts. So, now I just settle for smoking off the edge of the Astronomy Tower."</p><p> </p><p>James nodded. "You should try the Quidditch Pitch next time."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, maybe I will." They smiled at each other for a moment. They both jumped a little when the large clock on the wall chimed, alerting them it was now 2 a.m. "I guess we should be heading back."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I guess we should." They thanked the House Elves and started to make their way back to Gryffindor Tower.</p><p> </p><p>Given the extremely late hour, they made it back without any interruptions. James whipped the cloak off once they were safely back in the Common Room.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, thanks for a great night," Lily said. "I had a good time."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, me too," James's hand flicked to his hair like a nervous tick.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Lily said. She suddenly felt very awkward. "Good night."</p><p> </p><p>"Good night, Lily." James smiled at her. They both turned and started walking toward the staircases that would lead to the respective dormitories.</p><p> </p><p>"James?" Lily stopped with her foot on the first staircase.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes?" James whipped his head back around to face her.</p><p> </p><p>"Next time you go to the Quidditch Pitch to think, let me know," she smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright," James agreed. "But only if you let me join you next time you sneak off for a smoke in the Astronomy Tower."</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "Deal."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I have a feeling I'll be smoking a lot more cigarettes this year.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lily's alarm wakes up her at 6:00 a.m. sharp. She groans as she leans over to shut it off. She's surprised to find a package next to her alarm clock. <em>That wasn't there last night</em>, Lily thinks to herself. Curious, she grabs the box off the table and opens the note first.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>To satisfy your fix. Happy last first day!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Your James</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lily tears the brown wrapping off the package to reveal a box of chocolates that reads: <em>Honeydukes Finest.</em>Lily's favorite. <em>He remembered</em>, Lily smiled to herself. Thinking that this school year is going to be a lot better than she thought, and more determined now than ever, she flips her covers off and heads towards the bathroom to shower. <em>James Potter, you better watch out. </em></p><p> </p><p>It takes Lily nearly an hour to shower, shave, do her make up, and put on her best looking uniform. She contemplates herself in the mirror, frustrated to no end with her hair that she cannot seem to tame. She sighs dramatically and flops down on her bed.</p><p> </p><p>"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Marlene asks. The other girls had already headed down to breakfast, leaving Lily and Marlene alone in the dorm.</p><p> </p><p>Lily is usually already down at breakfast by this time, working on her fourth cup of coffee while reading <em>The </em><em>Daily Prophet</em>. Marlene, on the other hand, is always the last one to breakfast. Not only does she prefer to sleep in, but she also takes an abnormally long time to get ready. In fact, most days, she doesn't even make it to breakfast at all, arriving only a few moments before the first bell.</p><p> </p><p>"My hair hates me, James Potter is too bloody sexy for his own good, and I am a sodding mess," Lily complained.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, you're right about Potter being too sexy. That man and his forearms, oh and his hair--," Marlene stopped after Lily glared at her. "Right. You don't look like a mess; you look bloody fit as hell. And as for your hair, I think I can help you with that."</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, Marlene had performed a tricky little charm that her mum had taught her, and Lily's usually wild and curly hair was pin-straight. Marlene also lent Lily her favorite cherry red lipstick to complete the look.</p><p> </p><p>"One more thing to finish the ensemble," Marlene grabbed the top of Lily's skirt and gave one, two, three rolls to make it a good three inches shorter. It now sat in the middle of Lily's thigh.</p><p> </p><p>"Marlene!" Lily scolded.</p><p> </p><p>"You have great legs," Marlene told her. "Own it!"</p><p> </p><p>Lily looked herself over the mirror. She did look good. Her skin was absolutely glowing, with just a tint of blush on her cheeks. Her hair was long, straight, and shiny, which she felt made her look more mature. Her eyeliner made her eyes pop and look a brighter green than normal. And her lips looked radiant and luscious with the bright red lipstick. With her skirt hiked up, her legs looked longer than they actually were. Unlike Marlene, Lily was rather petite in stature and had always been jealous of Marlene's legs that seemed to go on for days.</p><p> </p><p>She looked completely the opposite of the last few times she saw James. She looked a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go." <em>I'm coming for you, James Potter</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all your review and kudos!! Next chapter will be from James POV</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten: Detention, Black</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius is concerned for his brother Regulus. James and Sirius have a much needed heart-to-heart.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After his night with Lily, James woke up with a spring in his step. He was starting to feel like he might actually have a chance with Lily Evans. He loved being friends with Lily, and as much as he wanted to be more, he didn’t want to ruin what they had. He had accepted his fate as Lily’s friend, but he had never given up, and now he was starting to hope. <em>This is either going to end horribly or amazing</em>, James thought as he made his way to breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone seems chipper this morning,” Remus noted as they sat down at the Gryffindor table.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I?” James asked. “Well, it’s a beautiful day; it’s our last year at Hogwarts; I’ve got my best mates with me. What else do I need?”</p><p> </p><p>His friends stared at him for a few moments before Sirius asked, “What happened with Evans?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” James said innocently. They gave him a look that they were clearly not buying him.</p><p> </p><p>“Speaking of Evans,” Peter started while looking up and down the table. “Where is she? Isn’t she usually here already?”</p><p> </p><p>The boys looked around to confirm Lily Evans was, in fact, missing in action from the Gryffindor Table. “You’re right, Pete,” Remus agreed. “She’s usually one of the first ones here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe she’s having a rendezvous before class,” Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p> </p><p>James just gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Really, Padfoot?” Remus said.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius howled with laughter at the troubled look on James’s face. “Relax, Prongs. I’m just fucking with you. Besides, Evans is right there.”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius gestured behind James, and all four boys turned and watched as Lily Evans made her grand entrance. They were not the only ones either, James noticed bitterly. Several heads turned in her direction as she made her way to the Gryffindor table with Marlene, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.</p><p> </p><p><em>She looks stunning</em>, James thought as he watched Lily approach the table. <em>Did she do something with her hair? And look at those lips. Damn, that skirt is definitely not regulation. She looks amazing.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Wow,” Peter said, breaking the silence as the Marauders continued to gawk at Lily. “She looks—”<br/><br/></p><p>“I know,” James said, cutting him off. He really didn’t want to hear his friends objectify Lily. “Shit, she’s coming this way. What do I do?”</p><p> </p><p>James whipped his head around back towards his friends while trying desperately to act like he was not ogling Lily.</p><p> </p><p>“Just be cool, damn,” Sirius said. “So, Evans looks fit today? That’s nothing new. Just relax, and try not to remember that every guy in here is <em>definitely</em> thinking about shagging her—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hello boys,” Marlene said brightly, sitting down next to Remus. “Who is everyone thinking about shagging?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, McGonagall,” Sirius lied effortlessly. “Obviously.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup!” Peter practically shouted. He had always been a terrible liar. “We were definitely talking about shagging McGonagall.”</p><p> </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Wormtail,” James hissed. “Keep it down.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you have a thing for older women, Black?” Lily joked. She sat down in the empty seat next to James, and he nearly stopped breathing. “Good morning, James.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” James said, somewhat breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>“Jealous, Evans?” Sirius asked with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed while pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Yes, Sirius, I am wildly jealous. Simply green with envy. For the record, though, I think McGonagall is way out of your league.”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius gasped. “I resent that!”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s got a point, Padfoot,” James joked.</p><p> </p><p>“Traitor!” Sirius exclaimed. “I could easily seduce Minerva McGonagall.”</p><p> </p><p>“Prove it,” Lily challenged. “She’s coming this way.”</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, Professor McGonagall was making her way towards them as she passed out timetables.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Sirius said through gritted teeth. He shot James a look that read, <em>I’m only doing it for you</em>, which made James feel a little guilty. After all, Sirius was only continuing this façade because Lily and Marlene overhead him talking about how bloody fit Lily looked. <em>Hmm</em>, James thought. <em>Maybe Padfoot does deserve this for speaking about Lily in such a crass way</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Minerva,” Sirius greeted as Professor McGonagall approached them. “You look absolutely ravishing this morning. Is that a new hat?”</p><p> </p><p>McGonagall just simply glared at him, so Sirius continued talking. “New glasses? Something’s changed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Detention, Black,” McGonagall responded. Everyone at the table howled with laughter. “Now, let’s discuss timetables.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Marlene made their way to Transfiguration after breakfast. Peter didn’t scrape a high enough O.W.L. to continue in N.E.W.T. Transfiguration, so he went back to the Common Room.</p><p> </p><p>As they walked into the classroom, Lily pulled James aside. Sirius and Remus shot him a curious look, but he simply waved them off.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you,” Lily started. “For the chocolate.”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t a big deal,” James said, blushing.</p><p> </p><p>“It was very sweet, and the absolute perfect way to start my day. So, thank you,” Lily smiled at him. She reached up on her tiptoes and planted a light kiss to James’ cheek.</p><p> </p><p>He was so stunned; he didn’t even notice that they were still standing in the doorway until someone cleared their throat. Lily and James jumped and turned around to find themselves face-to-face with none other than Severus Snape.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you two mind?” Snape sneered. “You’re blocking the doorway.”</p><p> </p><p>James was seething. <em>Of course</em>, <em>Snivellus interrupts my moment with Lily</em>, James thinks. <em>That fucking twat.</em></p><p> </p><p>James is about to open his mouth to say something when Lily tugs his arm. “Come on, James. Let’s go find a seat.”</p><p><br/>James could feel Snape’s eyes burning a hole in the back of his head as Lily pulled him along by the hand. Sure enough, James turned around to find Snape still standing where they left him by the door, seething with rage at the sight James’ hand in Lily’s.</p><p> </p><p>The class is mostly full at this point, with only a few seats open. Lily drags James to a table right in front of Sirius and Remus, who continue to give the two of them a curious look. James glared at them, and they pretended to read while clearly still eavesdropping on his conversation with Lily. <em>Fucking gits</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you mind sitting with me?” Lily asked as they started to pull their books and quills out. “I’m rubbish at Transfiguration, and it looks like my usual partner has abandoned me.”</p><p> </p><p>She glanced over at Marlene, who was sitting with Dorcas Meadowes and appeared to be in full flirt mode. <em>Good for you, McKinnon</em>, James thought. <em>Get it</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, I don’t mind,” James assured her. “But you’re not rubbish at Transfiguration. I don’t think you could be rubbish at something if you tried.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. Their conversation was interrupted by Professor McGonagall, addressing the class.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning,” she greeted the class in her usual crisp manner. “Well, this is a very significant year for you. You will sit for the most important exams of your life in just a few months. We have a lot of material to cover, so we best not waste any more time.”</p><p> </p><p>James found it very hard to concentrate on what Professor McGonagall was saying because he was so distracted by Lily’s thighs. As Lily crossed her legs and adjusted her position, her skirt hiked even higher up her leg. <em>Why does she have to be so bloody fit?</em> James was trying so hard to concentrate and not gawk at her thigh. But as it was, all he could think about was running his hand higher and higher up her leg until he reached her knickers –</p><p> </p><p>“Mr. Potter?” Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice dragged James out of his fantasy, but not before his pants become noticeably tighter. “Is sitting next to Miss Evans too much of a distraction for you?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” James glanced at Lily and noticed she was trying very hard not to laugh. <em>At least she’s not mad at me, </em>James thought. Sirius and Remus were making no such attempt and were laughing loudly behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Pay attention, or I’ll be forced to assign you a new seat,” McGonagall warned.</p><p> </p><p>He chanced a peek at Lily once Professor McGonagall had returned to her lecture. He was surprised to find she was already looking at him. She offered him a shy smile before returning to her notes. <em>Yeah, I’m not going to learn a damn thing in this class</em>.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lily and James walked out together at the end of class. His friends, for once, had made themselves scarce, for which he was very grateful.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Lily,” James started nervously. “If you ever need help revising for Transfiguration, I would love to help.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at him. “Thanks, James. I might seriously take you up on that offer. Well, I should go catch up with Marlene. See you later.”</p><p> </p><p>James watched as she ran up to Marlene. Lily always looked beautiful, but something about her today was different. Besides the hair and her shiny red lips, she was carrying herself differently. Lily seemed to be radiating self-confidence and poise, something that she had been missing the last few times James saw her. It was great to see that side of Lily again, and James thought she had never looked sexier because of it.</p><p> </p><p><em>Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks so</em>, James noted bitterly as he watched several heads turn in her direction as she walked.</p><p> </p><p>“You do realize that every straight man in Hogwarts is picturing shagging Lily Evans right now?” Sirius clapped James on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>James glared at him. “Shut up, Padfoot.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, Sirius was right. Throughout the rest of the day, James couldn’t help but notice just how many guys were checking Lily out. <em>It’s disgusting</em>, James thought while watching a pair of fourth years try and look up her skirt as she walked by. <em>Does she always get this much attention?</em> James knew other blokes fancied Lily, but he had never really given much thought as to just how many other blokes fancied her, or at least thought she was fit.</p><p> </p><p>“Check that out,” Remus said, dragging James out of his own thoughts.</p><p> </p><p><em>Blimey, not Remus, too!</em> “Yes, Evans looks fit. Must you all rub it in –”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not talking about Lily,” Remus cut him off. “I’m talking about that.”</p><p> </p><p>He gestured towards the Slytherin table. The four Marauders turned to find Severus Snape eating at the Slytherin table, and he was in deep conversation with Regulus Black.</p><p> </p><p>“That is a bit strange,” James acknowledged. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen them speak to each other before. I mean, they don’t exactly run in the same crowds, do they?”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius’s grip on his fork threatened to break the utensil in half. “What is that Death Eater doing talking to my brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“We have no proof he’s a Death Eater,” Remus pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“Do we need any?” James retorted. “He’s a slimy git who hates Muggleborns. That’s enough proof for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it’s nothing,” Peter suggested. “I mean they are in the same House, it’s not that weird for them to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Sirius hissed. He wasn’t wrong. Whatever Snape and Regulus were talking about, it was most certainly <em>not</em> nothing. “He’s fifteen years old.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Padfoot,” James said reassuringly.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius had been particularly concerned for his brother’s well-being ever since he ran away from home last summer. Regulus, while not a bad person, was always over-eager to please his parents. Leaving his brother behind had been the hardest part for Sirius, and he still felt guilty about it. He would occasionally try and catch up with Regulus at Hogwarts but had so far been unsuccessful. Regulus took Sirius leaving home as a personal slight and wanted nothing to do with his brother.</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t we head to the Quidditch pitch tonight? Flying always clears your head,” James suggested. Sirius grunted in response, which James took to be a yes. “Brilliant!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After dinner, James and Sirius made their way to the Quidditch pitch. James’s real reason for suggesting this activity to Sirius was because he thought it would be a good place to talk about Regulus.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really worried about Regulus, aren’t you?” James asked as they walked.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius nodded. “He’s just so young and impressionable. You know how badly he wants to please people. I worry if he starts hanging out with Snivellus and Mulicber, and that lot, he will start to get ideas. He doesn’t have anyone to provide guidance or give him advice. You know my parents; they are all aboard the Voldemort train. Regulus becoming a Death Eater would probably be the proudest day of their lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got to talk to him,” James said.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius waved him off. “You know he won’t listen to me. I’ve been labeled public enemy number one since I moved out.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got to try,” James insisted. “This is bigger than your differences and your shitty parents. This is Regulus’s soul we are talking about. You know he’s a good kid. He’s just misguided sometimes. He needs his big brother right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Even though he won’t admit it, Sirius loves his brother deeply. James knows it. He also knows Sirius will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t try to talk to Regulus.</p><p> </p><p>They were quiet for a moment. When Sirius finally spoke again, James was surprised to hear his voice trembling. “What if it’s too late? What is he’s already done it?”</p><p> </p><p>James grabbed Sirius’s shoulders and forced him to look at him. “You have got to try. If there is still a sliver of hope for Regulus, you cannot give up.”</p><p> </p><p>“But what if I did this?” Sirius asked. “What if by leaving home, I pushed him in this direction?”</p><p> </p><p>James wanted to cringe at the pain he heard in Sirius’s voice. But he needed to be strong for Sirius right now. <em>My brother needs me</em>, James thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Sirius, you cannot blame yourself for Regulus’s actions,” James said. “You had to leave that house. You know it wasn’t safe for you there.”</p><p> </p><p>For years, Sirius suffered mental, physical, and verbal abuse at the hands of his parents. His dear mum even blasted him off the family tree after he ran away. James knows the only reason Sirius stayed as long as he did was for Regulus. His parents had never treated Regulus with the same distaste as they did Sirius. Of course, Regulus didn’t actively try and act out against the Black family name. He was always trying to please dear Walburga and Orion, which easily made him the favorite child. While Sirius had a hard time leaving his brother, he knew deep down that Regulus was never in as much danger as Sirius himself had been.</p><p> </p><p>James knew Sirius still carried scars from his time at Grimmauld Place, both physical and psychological, and he was grateful every day that Sirius got away when he did. But if there was a chance to save Regulus, James knew Sirius would go to any length to help him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll talk to him,” Sirius agreed. “Will you help me keep an eye on him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” James said. Sirius grabbed James roughly and enveloped him in a fierce embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, mate,” Sirius said. James didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to. Sirius and James would go to the end of the Earth for each other, and they both knew it.</p><p> </p><p>“Flying?” James asked after a few moments.</p><p> </p><p>“Flying,” Sirius agreed.</p><p> </p><p>With that, the two boys spent the next several hours flying. While James knew the matter of the battle for Regulus’s soul was settled, for now, it was by no means over.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>James and Sirius made it back to the Gryffindor Tower ten minutes past curfew, and there was still a handful of people milling about in the common room. One of them being none other than Lily Evans. She was curled up in what James knew was her favorite armchair reading a book.</p><p> </p><p>Usually, James would take this opportunity to flirt with Lily shamelessly. However, he didn’t want to give her any reason to take points since he was a few minutes past curfew and Head Boy. James and Sirius tried to stealthily slip by her and up to their dormitory unnoticed.</p><p> </p><p>As he placed his foot on the first stair, he thought they were in the clear, until – “You’re late, Head Boy.”</p><p> </p><p>James whipped his head around to find Lily standing behind them with her arms crossed. <em>Dammit, why must she look so hot when she’s angry?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Evans didn’t see you there,” James said while ruffling his hair nervously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, you did. Don’t lie, Potter. It’s not very becoming,” she responded.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you going to take points from me?” James asked doubtfully.</p><p> </p><p>She thought about it for a moment before breaking out in a broad grin. “I guess not this time.”</p><p> </p><p>James couldn’t help at smile back at what felt like an inside joke between the two of them. <em>It would be pretty hypocritical of her to take points from me when she was out past curfew as well just last night, </em>James thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Right,” Sirius said, reminding James that he and Lily were not alone and were, in fact, in the middle of the common room. “Well, I feel like I’m intruding here, so I’m just going to go to bed.”</p><p> </p><p>He slapped James on the shoulder before heading up to their dormitory. Lily made her way back to the armchair to continue reading. James hesitated for a moment before turning away from the staircase and plopping down on the couch next to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Business or pleasure, Evans?” James asked while nodding at her book.</p><p> </p><p>“Pleasure,” Lily answered, flashing him the cover of her book.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Pride and Prejudice</em>,” James read. “Never heard of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a Muggle classic. Jane Austin is a literary genius,” Lily gushed.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s it about?” James asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, just your typical boy hates girl, girl hates boy, girl and boy fall madly in love,” Lily explained.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, that sounds oddly familiar,” James mocked while staring at Lily pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>Lily blushed deeply. “Yeah, I guess it does.” She offered him a shy smile, and James felt his heart grow three sizes. <br/><br/></p><p>
  <em>Oh yeah, there is definitely hope.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not happy with the ending, but the chapter was already so long! Also, I can't help but throw in a Jane Austin book. I like to think Lily would be a huge fan of the classics.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Eleven: Love Advice from Mr. Moony</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and Sirius go head-to-head in a Firewhisky competition. Remus bares his soul to Lily. Both Lily and Remus are left with some serious things to consider.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily felt as though her first week in her final year at Hogwarts had lasted a month. She was relieved to find herself packing up from Potions, her last class on Fridays. <em>This has felt like the longest week of my life</em>, Lily thought as she cleaned up her station.</p><p> </p><p>While nothing of much incident had happened that week, Lily had been finding it difficult to concentrate on her classes. Her mind kept wandering to everything that was going on in her life; the war, Petunia, Head duties, James. Lily usually loved the first week of school, and she was becoming increasingly frustrated with her lack of focus.</p><p> </p><p><em>This is the most critical year of your entire school career</em>, Lily scolded herself. <em>No one can take this away from you. Not Petunia, not James, not even Voldemort. </em></p><p> </p><p>“See you all next week,” Professor Slughorn said as their class was heading out the door. “Excellent job today! Miss Evans, may I have a word, please?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned inwardly as she walked towards his desk. She liked Horace Slughorn; she really did. But some days, she could just not handle him, and today seemed to be one of those days.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Professor?” she asked as cheerily as she could manage. Fortunately, it didn’t take too much enthusiasm to appease Slughorn.</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to say congratulations on becoming Head Girl,” Lily couldn’t help but genuinely smile at how sincere he sounded.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Lily smiled at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Although, I can’t say I was all that surprised. Between you and me, I voted for you. But, don’t mention that to Miss Malone,” he said with a chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Mandy Malone was a seventh year Slytherin prefect and probably <em>should</em> have been Slughorn’s vote for Head Girl, seeing as she was in his house. <em>Serves her right for being a fucking twat</em>, Lily thought with a shrewd smile. Mandy and Lily had never gotten on.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, I was hoping you could do me a favor,” Slughorn continued. “I’m planning a fabulous gathering of the Slug Club, and we have a very special guest attending. He has specifically requested the presence of the Head Girl and the Head Boy. Now, Mr. Potter has been avoiding my parties for years; claims he always has Quidditch practice or detention –”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, to be fair, James most likely does have the latter I’m afraid,” Lily joked.</p><p> </p><p>Slughorn howled with laughter. “Very well, I’ll give him that one. But, since you’re working so closely with him, I was hoping you could feed me some dates you know he’s free so he can’t worm his way out of this one. He’s always been, shall we say, very fond of your company. So, I’m hoping with your assistance and some extra pressure from our special guest, I can finally get him to come around.”</p><p> </p><p>“May I ask who the guest is?” Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Someone I believe you have already had the pleasure of meeting,” Slughorn said with a smirk. “Mr. Fleamont Potter. He hasn’t stopped raving about you.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily blushed fiercely. “He is much too kind. But, I’m sure between myself and Mr. Potter, we can get James there.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the spirit!” Slughorn exclaimed. “I’ll wait to hear from you about a few dates so I can get back to Monty, yeah? Alright now, go and enjoy your weekend.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily sighed loudly as she walked out of the classroom and saw Marlene waiting for her. “I need a cigarette, a scotch, and a nap. Not necessarily in that order.”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene laughed. “Honey, you need a boy, and it’s not as though you’re especially scarce on suitors.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned. Her plan to impress James Potter this week had gone a little too well. She suddenly found herself being gawked at everywhere she went. She didn’t think she was anything special to look at, especially not next to Marlene. It was only a new hairstyle and a short skirt. Lily didn’t find these to be particularly life-altering factors, but apparently, the boys of Hogwarts thought differently.</p><p> </p><p>The worst part was Lily had no idea if she was impressing James Potter, which had been her ultimate goal. He was treating her exactly as he had been all last year; with friendly regard. Which wasn’t a bad thing; it just wasn’t precisely what Lily wanted. Quite honestly, the whole thing made her feel absolutely foolish.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never worked this hard to impress anyone,” Lily complained as she and Marlene walked back to Gryffindor Tower. “Not a boy, and especially not James Potter.”</p><p> </p><p>Marlene rolled her eyes at what must have been the hundredth time Lily had said that this week. “Relax, Lily. He’s noticing, trust me.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily was spared from answering by the appearance of Sirius Black.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite ladies at Hogwarts,” Sirius said while casually throwing his arms around both girls.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want, Black?” Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m only here to remind you of our little competition tonight,” Sirius said. When Lily didn’t respond, he laughed at the confused look on her face. “Oh, Miss Evans, please tell me you didn’t forget? Drinking competition, Hogwarts Express, ring any bells?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned. “Bloody hell.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alas! She remembers,” Sirius exclaimed. “I’ll see you both tonight then. 9 o’clock sharp, don’t be late.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, Sirius Black took off running.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you’re going to get that nap,” Marlene said grimly.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Alright, Evans, pick your poison,” Sirius said with a sly grin. The Marauders, plus Lily and Marlene, were gathered in the corner of the Gryffindor Common Room. Sirius had come prepared and brought several different bottles of booze.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I even want to know where you got all of these from?” Lily asked. The Head Girl in her was on high alert.</p><p> </p><p>“I would stay in the dark. Plausible deniability and all that,” Remus said, wisely.</p><p> </p><p>“Right,” Lily nodded. <em>Fuck me</em>, Lily thought. <em>I am already regretting this.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Firewhisky!” Marlene exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>“Excellent choice, Mar,” Sirius said. He started filling four shot glasses with Firewhisky. “Now, the rules are quite simple. Shot for shot, last one to vomit or concede wins.”</p><p> </p><p>Sirius placed a shot glass in front of Lily, Peter, and Marlene, and took the last one for himself. James and Remus sensibly decided not to participate, since neither of them had been stupid enough to volunteer in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>“Cheers,” Lily said, raising her glass in salute. The Firewhisky burned as it went down. <em>One down, only a dozen to go.</em> Lily was going to hate herself tomorrow.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After the eighth shot, Peter was out, and Marlene easily won that challenge.</p><p> </p><p>“Screw you, Pete,” Marlene slurred as Peter ran upstairs to be sick in the toilet most likely. “I’m not finished yet.”</p><p> </p><p>She then decided to join Lily and Sirius’s challenge, but she was out after another two shots.</p><p> </p><p>“Should have bowed out when you had the chance, Mar,” Lily said, sagely while Marlene ran upstairs to vomit.</p><p> </p><p>“And then there were two,” Sirius said. “What do you say, Evans? Time to give up?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily wasn’t sure how much longer she could go, but she couldn’t stand to see the smug look on Sirius’s face if he won. “Never.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, Sirius was starting to look bad. Lily knew how Sirius handled his liquor; he was perfectly fine for the first hour or two, and then all of a sudden, the alcohol would hit him like a brick wall. Lily always felt her alcohol come on more gradually, so she usually was able to handle more because of this, a fact that she had been heavily relying on when she made this bet.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re done, Black,” Lily said while Sirius teetered on the edge of his seat. “Go on, yield.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not gonna – <em>hiccup</em> – yield,” Sirius managed to slur between hiccups.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not going to make it,” James said anxiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Yield,” Lily repeated confidently.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius raised his glass to his mouth, but before he could even take a sip, he turned around and vomited behind the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“I win!” Lily screamed. She jumped up and did an embarrassing little dance.</p><p> </p><p>“Graceful in defeat and victory, I see,” Remus said sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>Lily stuck her tongue out at him. “This feels good! What else can we bet on?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think we’ve created a monster,” James muttered to Remus. Sirius groaned from behind the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“James Potter!” Lily yelled while slapping the table in front of her. “Arm wrestling match. You, me, right fucking now.”</p><p> </p><p>James eyed her wearily. “Are you sure? You don’t want to start something you know you can’t win, Evans.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily propped her arm up on the table expectantly. “Let’s do this, little man.”</p><p> </p><p>James rolled his eyes but propped his arm on the table opposite of hers anyway. Lily lost spectacularly five times in a row.</p><p> </p><p>“Best eight out of ten?” Lily suggested, with a hopeful smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, Lily,” James smirked. “Someone has to get this one to bed.” He gestured towards Sirius, who was passed out on the couch. “Besides, I don’t think your hubris can handle another loss tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, that’s my line!” Lily pouted at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” James said with a laugh. He looked at Remus. “Do you have her?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Get that lightweight to bed,” Remus answered.</p><p> </p><p>James heaved Sirius up from the couch, propped him up on his shoulder, and headed upstairs to the boy’s dormitory. Lily watched James wistfully. Part of her was sad that he was leaving, but another part of her, the sober part that was hidden at this moment, knew she was making a fool of herself, and that it was probably best he leave now before she does anything else embarrassing.</p><p> </p><p>“Remus,” Lily whined while resting her head on his shoulder.  The room was spinning, so closed her eyes. “Why doesn’t he like me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Remus asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“James,” Lily could feel herself starting to nod off. “He used to fancy me, and now he doesn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that what you think?” Remus looked down at Lily, half-asleep on his shoulder. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow after you’ve sobered up. Get some sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you say, Moony,” Remus chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Lily,” Remus said.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lily woke up the next morning with a screeching headache. <em>What the fuck happened last night?</em> Lily thought. <em>Also, where am I?</em> Lily looked around her, and it took her a moment to realize she was in her bed in her dormitory. The last thing she remembers from last night was falling asleep on the couch next to Remus, so she’s not sure how she ended up in her bed.</p><p> </p><p>It must have been pretty late because Lily was the only one in the dormitory. She groaned and rolled over to reach for her watch to check the time. She was surprised to find a large goblet on her bedside table with a note next to it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lily,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>We still haven’t figured out a hangover potion (although, it’s not for lack of trying), so the best I could come up with was a Pepperup Potion. You seemed like you might need one this morning.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Please meet me on top of the Astronomy Tower at noon. I think we have some things to discuss.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Remus</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned again, knowing that whatever Remus wanted to talk about could not be good. Since it was already half-past eleven, Lily gulped down the potion and rolled out of bed to try and make herself somewhat presentable.</p><p> </p><p>Twenty-eight minutes later, Lily was showered, dressed, and feeling surprisingly well considering how much Firewhisky she drank the previous night. <em>I must thank Remus for that Pepperup Potion; it saved my fucking ass</em>, Lily thought as she climbed her way to the top of the Astronomy Tower.</p><p> </p><p>“Cutting it a little close there, Head Girl,” Remus smirked at Lily as she walked in.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I did remarkably well, considering I only woke up thirty minutes ago,” Lily snapped. “Thanks for the potion, by the way. It was a godsend.”</p><p> </p><p>“No problem,” Remus said dismissively. “I already had to make one for Sirius and Peter. I figured why not help out you and McKinnon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Mar got some as well?” Lily asked as she took out her cigarettes and lit one up. She offered one to Remus.</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head in response. “Yeah, I was able to catch her this morning. You know how early she wakes up when she is hungover.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily snorted. “It’s the only time that girl ever wakes up early.”</p><p> </p><p>Remus laughed. “Too true. So, do you remember anything about last night?”</p><p> </p><p>“I remember kicking Sirius Black’s ass,” Lily smirked. “But somehow, I feel like that’s not what you’re talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>“You said some things,” Remus started nervously, “about James.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” was all Lily said. She suddenly became very interested in her trainers, refusing to make eye contact with Remus.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Remus sighed. “I mean I can’t pretend I didn’t see this coming—”</p><p> </p><p>Lily’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Lily,” Remus gave her a knowing look. “You’re not exactly subtle.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily sighed deeply and hung her head in her hands. “How long have you known?”</p><p> </p><p>“Since last year,” Remus said smugly. Lily could hear the smirk in his voice. “But we both know it’s been longer than that, hasn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Lily lifted her head to glare at him. “Yes, alright. You don’t have to be so bloody smug about it. You’re as bad as Marlene.”</p><p> </p><p>Remus laughed. Lily continued to smoke her cigarette, and they sat in silence for a few moments.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, Lily,” Remus started. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I think you owe it to yourself and to James to tell him how you feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily sighed. “Marlene keeps saying the same thing. She referencing what Dumbledore said about how we need more love in the world with everything happening.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s right,” Remus hesitated for a moment. “With this war happening, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so we need to make today count. Trust me. It’s worth it to take the risk.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily raised her eyebrows at him. “Something to share with the class, Remus?”</p><p> </p><p>Remus paused for a few moments. “I was with someone during fifth year. We were only together a few months, but it was amazing, Lily. I’ve never felt like that about anyone before, or since actually. And even though it ended, I don’t regret it for a second.”</p><p> </p><p>“Remus, I had no idea,” Lily said. “Who was she?”</p><p> </p><p>Remus paused again. “Actually, it was a he.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Lily said, surprised. “I didn’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not many people do,” Remus admitted.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to tell me who it was if you don’t want to. But I’m here if you want to talk about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Remus smiled at her. “He’s the only person I’ve ever loved.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s it like?” Lily asked in a quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s incredible,” Remus said with a wistful smile on his face. “You have someone who is your best friend, your other half. It makes your heart ache but in a good way. And when you look at them, it feels like coming home after a long day.”</p><p> </p><p>“But it’s also terrifying. You’re giving a part of yourself to someone, and you’re trusting them not to break it, and when they do, it’s tragic. But when they don’t, when they hold on to it, and they love it and cherish it, it’s the greatest feeling in the world. No matter if it’s a fleeting moment, or it’s forever, it’s so worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily observed the undeniable longing on Remus’s face. “Remus, what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“He betrayed my trust, Lily,” Remus said simply.</p><p> </p><p>“You still love him,” Lily stated.</p><p> </p><p>Remus glared at her. “What makes you think that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Give me some credit, Remus,” Lily scoffed. “It’s all over your face.”</p><p> </p><p>“You would know,” Remus retorted. “It’s the same look you have when you talk about James.”  </p><p> </p><p>Lily and Remus contemplated quietly for a few minutes.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared, Remus,” Lily whispered. “What if I tell him, and it doesn’t work out?”</p><p> </p><p>“What if it does?” Remus shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What if it does? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Look, Lily, I can’t make this decision for you. But for what it’s worth, knowing how it ended for me, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it all over again in a heartbeat.”</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled at him. “Thanks, Remus.”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded at her and started to get up.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, it’s not too late,” Lily called after him. Remus gave her a puzzled look. “To try again. If you still love him, don’t let him get away. I reckon he must be pretty special to win over the affection of Remus Lupin.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Lily,” Remus gave her a small smile. “I guess we both have some things to think about.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like this took forever! I was so excited to write some more Remus John Lupin! Next chapter we will get some more of Lily bonding with a different Marauder. </p><p>Did anyone catch the slight B99 reference?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Twelve: Black Family Drama</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius and Lily bond over family problems. Lily makes a threat. James and Lily have a fight.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for all the support! I love reading your comments and getting kudos, it really keeps me going. I hope you enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Remus left, Lily continued to smoke for a while longer. She was stressed <em>and</em> hungover, so she felt like she deserved it today. Part of her wanted to check up on Marlene and make sure she was doing alright. Part of her wanted to find James and snog the crap out of him. Part of her wanted to take a nice, long nap. She decided to do none of those things, and just sit and contemplate for a while longer.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Remus. <em>What if it does?</em> His words were repeating in her head like a mantra. She had never considered that it could <em>actually</em> work out between her and James. She had been so consumed with simply admitting her feelings for James that she had never given much thought as to what might happen if he reciprocated those feelings. But, if there was even a sliver of hope that James had feelings for Lily, she had to know. To find out, Lily knew she would eventually have to tell James how she feels about him. <em>But can I take that risk?</em> Lily wondered.</p><p> </p><p>Lily had never been considered what one would call a "risk-taker"; that was more Marlene's department. Lily was calculating in her actions. She liked to examine situations from all angles, consider every possibility, and make rational decisions. It was one of the reasons Slughorn always insisted she would make a good Slytherin; she was cunning and clever, two qualities that are greatly valued in Slytherin House.</p><p> </p><p>But she was also courageous, headstrong, and prideful. Lily never hesitated to stand up for herself or her friends. Even when she knew the battle was lost, Lily would never stop fighting for a worthy cause. A true Slytherin would know when to save their own skin and wave the white flag. A Gryffindor would always keep fighting until the bitter end. And that is what sets Lily apart from Slytherins. That is what makes her a Gryffindor.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was dragged away from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching her. She was surprised to see Sirius Black walking up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. He seemed to be even more lost in thought than Lily. He didn't even notice her sitting there, walking right past her while mumbling under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>"He doesn't even know what he's talking about," Sirius hissed. "He's a fucking child!"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that's no way to talk about your best friend when he's not around," Lily joked, causing Sirius to jump at her voice. "I know James is immature but is he really a child?"</p><p> </p><p>"Evans! I didn't see you there." Sirius said, running his hand through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>"Obviously," Lily smiled at him. Sirius gave her what she could only assume was an attempt at a smile but came across more like a grimace. "What are you doing up here?"</p><p> </p><p>"James said this was a good place to come think," Sirius answered.</p><p> </p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. "That bastard. I told him about this place!"</p><p> </p><p>"Ahh," Sirius chortled. "That makes sense now. He said something about trying to come up here more to 'enjoy the view.'"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sure he didn't mean me," Lily blushed.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I don't think he was talking about Hagrid's hut," Sirius sat down next to Lily.</p><p> </p><p>She wordlessly offered him a cigarette, which he gratefully accepted.</p><p> </p><p>"So, let's hear it," Lily prompted.</p><p> </p><p>"Hear what?" Sirius questioned.</p><p> </p><p>"Why did you come up here to think?" Lily smirked at him. "Or did you just come for the view?"</p><p> </p><p>Sirius scoffed. "No offense, Evans, but you're not exactly my type." Lily sent him a glare. "Alright, it's just family stuff."</p><p> </p><p>"I see." They both sat quietly for a moment and continued to smoke. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p> </p><p>Sirius snorted. "I don't think you could handle it."</p><p> </p><p>"I think you'd be surprised," Lily challenged.</p><p> </p><p>"What would perfect Lily Evans know about shitty families?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily glared at him. "Well, Sirius, both of my parents died before I was even finished school. My father fought a long and hard battle with cancer and died when I was twelve. My mother was killed suddenly by a drunk driver when I was sixteen. My only remaining family is my shitty stepfather and my sister. Both of whom would rather pretend I was dead than deal with the fact that I'm a witch. Oh, and I'm basically homeless now since I left home."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius was silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I don't exactly go around advertising it, do I?" Lily snapped. "Now, why don't you stop being a shit, and tell me what happened?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's my little brother," Sirius answered.</p><p> </p><p>"Regulus?" Lily clarified.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius nodded. "I'm worried about him. He's been hanging around those shit Slytherins lately. Avery, Mulciber, Wilkes… Snape."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius cast a nervous glance at Lily at the mention of Severus Snape. A flash of something that resembled pain lingered on her face for only a moment before she once again bore a concerned expression for Sirius.</p><p> </p><p>"You're worried he's going to start supporting <em>him</em>," Lily stated.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Sirius said. "Well, I know mum and dad already support him, and Regulus always agrees with them. He's a real crowd-pleaser. But I'm worried he's going to start supporting him in a more – ah – <em>official</em> capacity."</p><p> </p><p>"I see," Lily was quiet for a moment. "Sirius, that fucking sucks. I'm so sorry."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Sirius rubbed his face with his hands. "I just don't know how to get through to him."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Lily said soothingly. "You're a smart bloke with a good heart. And you are nothing like your family."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Lily responded. "I mean, it's not your fault you were raised by wolves."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius laughed loudly at this. "I've never heard that one before. That's bloody brilliant."</p><p> </p><p>Lily knew all about the Black family. You would be hard-pressed to find someone at Hogwarts who didn't know about them.  Even though Lily grew up in the Muggle world, it didn't take her a long time to understand the power of certain wizarding families. The McKinnon's, the Malfoy's, the Potter's, the Black's; these were all esteemed pureblood wizarding families that could be traced back for generations.</p><p> </p><p>Certain expectations came with being part of a pureblood wizarding family. Some families, like the Malfoys and the Blacks, placed more emphasis on these expectations than the Potter's or the McKinnon's. Everyone was shocked when Sirius Black was sorted into Gryffindor because one of the Black family's many expectations was that their children were sorted into Slytherin. Period. Sirius had continued to take down his family's patriarchal values ever since.</p><p> </p><p>"I know it's hard, but you can't give up on your brother," Lily said ardently. "Take it from someone who has been there."</p><p> </p><p>"What do you – ah. Snape," Sirius looked grim. "Lily, he is such a shit. You can't blame yourself for how he turned out."</p><p> </p><p>"I just keep thinking about what might have happened if I had tried a little bit harder. Could I have stopped him?" Lily contemplated.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius frowned at the pain on Lily's face. "You did everything you could, we all saw that. But you were always too good for him."</p><p> </p><p>They were thoughtful for a few moments until Sirius broke the silence. He offered her a small smile. "You know, James said something similar about me not giving up on Regulus."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I suppose even Potter can be right sometimes," Lily joked.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "You know, you two are a lot more alike than you realize."</p><p> </p><p>"Is that so?" Lily asked sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. I mean, you're both bloody brilliant, stubborn as hell, and incredibly fit to boot," Sirius smiled at her. "And you're both pretty great friends."</p><p> </p><p>Lily's heart warmed at the compliment. She and Sirius had only started to get along last year and hadn't really had a proper chance to get to know each other. This was the first real conversation that Lily could recall ever having with Sirius Black. She was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him.</p><p> </p><p>"You're not too bad yourself," Lily said with a slight nudge to Sirius's knee.</p><p> </p><p>"Woah, Evans. Once again, you're not really my type," Sirius smirked at her. "I know I'm devilishly handsome –"</p><p> </p><p>She rolled her eyes. "Shut up." Lily's stomach chose that moment to grumble, and she realized she hadn't eaten yet.</p><p> </p><p>"You hungry?" Sirius asked. "I think we missed lunch."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry," Lily grinned. "I know a place."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>To say Sirius Black was surprised that Lily Evans knew where the Hogwarts kitchen was is an understatement.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily Evans, breaking the rules," Sirius said while they walked back to Gryffindor Tower after a quick lunch courtesy of the Hogwarts House Elves. "I am so proud."</p><p> </p><p>"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," Lily teased.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, colored me impressed," Sirius said astonished.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, well, well, isn't this cute?" a voice sneered from behind them. Lily and Sirius whipped their heads around to find Snape, Avery, and Mulciber sauntering up the stairs. "The Mudblood and the Blood Traitor," Avery continued. "But, Black, I thought Potter was fucking Evans. Or do you all take turns?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Just what I fucking need right now</em>, Lily thought. She can't pretend she was surprised. She had been harassed by this particular gang of Slytherin's on numerous occasions. Lily nervously looked up and down the corridor to find they were completely and utterly alone. Usually, she's in a more populated area, and can easily brush them off with a witty retort. <em>I don't think your wit will get you out of this</em>, Lily thought grimly.</p><p> </p><p>"You watch your fucking mouth," Sirius whipped out his wand. At his reaction, the three Slytherins copied him, and pretty soon, everyone had a wand pointed at someone like some old Western shoot-off.</p><p> </p><p>"Sirius, please, it's not worth it," Lily pleaded. She did not want to get into it right now in front of Snape. She could feel Snape's eyes burning into her, but she refused to meet his gaze. The fact that this confrontation was happening at all was horrifying, but the fact that it was happening in front of Snape, correction <em>with</em> Snape, was absolutely humiliating for Lily. She had done her damndest to avoid Severus Snape at all costs the past two years, and with only a few minor unavoidable encounters in class, she had been wildly successful.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, Black. Listen to your Mudblood," Mulciber snarled while eyeing Sirius's wand. "Besides, you're outnumbered."</p><p> </p><p>"You might want to count again." Lily would recognize that voice anywhere. <em>Of course</em>, Lily thought bitterly, <em>the only thing that could make this worse is James bloody Potter</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, Lily turned around to find James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew walking up, wands already drawn. James walked right up to Lily and Sirius, while Peter and Remus hung slightly back.</p><p> </p><p>"Has Potter come to rescue his little Mudblood girlfriend?" Avery mocked. He tried to maintain his strong front, but it was apparent the addition of three Gryffindors rattled him. Now the Slytherins were outnumbered three to five. Snape and Mulciber exchanged wary glances behind Avery's back. It was clear they were nervous as well.</p><p> </p><p>"You better watch your damn mouth," James threatened, pointing his wand directly at Avery. Lily placed a soothing hand on James' arm, and he looked down at her. She gave him a look that read <em>I've got this</em>. He nodded stiffly and lowered his wand.</p><p> </p><p>Then Lily, who was sick and tired of taking shit from the Slytherin's, marched right up to Avery, so she was positioned directly under his nose. "You better watch out," Lily warned in a harsh voice. "One day soon we won't be in school, I won't be Head Girl, and I won't have any reason not to kick your ass. And you mark my words when that day comes, you are going to rue the day you crossed wands with me."</p><p> </p><p>"Was that a threat?" Avery sneered.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, absolutely. Was that not obvious?" Lily replied with a bright smile. The look Avery gave her in response was murderous. </p><p> </p><p>"One day, Evans, you won't have your boyfriends around to protect you," Avery snarled. "So, I guess you better watch out, too."</p><p> </p><p>With a departing glare, the Slytherins turned and headed back towards their Common Room.</p><p> </p><p>"Dammit, Evans! Are you crazy?" James rounded on Lily once the Slytherin's had disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>"Excuse me?" Lily exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>"Would it kill you to bite your tongue, just once?" James continued. "You were goading them, Lily. You might as well just wear a target on your back."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm a Muggle-born, James. In case you didn't notice, I've already got a target on my back." Lily and James stood there, glaring at each other in the middle of the corridor. The other boys wisely decided to stay out of their argument, choosing instead to watch Lily and James exchange insult back and forth like a tennis match. "I don't always need your help, James. I'm not a damsel in distress."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, I just don't want you to get hurt."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm going to get hurt, James. This is war."</p><p> </p><p>"That doesn't mean you have to instigate a battle in the middle of the bloody corridor!"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh-ho, look who's talking Mister I-hex-everyone-who-even-looks-at-me-wrong."</p><p> </p><p>"Dammit, Lily. That's not fair. I haven't done that in years, and you know it, Evans. Now I only start fights if someone really fucking deserves it. Like when they insult my – <em>friend</em>." There was a pregnant pause before James said the word "friend," as though he had wanted to use a different word to refer to Lily.</p><p> </p><p><em>That's silly</em>, Lily scolded herself. <em>How else would he refer to me? We are just friends… right?</em></p><p> </p><p>"Sirius and I were handling it fine on our own without our help. You don't always have to play the bloody hero. I can protect myself."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, you were outnumbered three to two," James deadpanned.</p><p> </p><p>"I had it under control!" Lily fumed. "You are so infuriating!"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, you're not exactly a cakewalk, sweetheart," James responded.</p><p> </p><p>They continued to glare at each other for a few more moments before they turned and stormed off in opposite directions, their friends wholly forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck just happened?" Sirius asked Remus and Peter, as they watched Lily and James abandon them.</p><p> </p><p>"They are both so stupid. Neither one wants the other one to get hurt, but neither one wants to be the one to admit that. So instead, they yell at each because it's all they know how to do. They're in love," Remus explained with a shrug. "They just don't know it yet."</p><p> </p><p>"Why do I feel like it's going to be an interesting year," Peter observed.</p><p> </p><p>"You got that right, Wormtail," Sirius agreed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow! This took forever! I'm really hoping to move the plot along more quickly. It's only been like two weeks since the start of the story. James POV up next!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter Thirteen: You Know Why</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily and James are fighting. James confronts Snape. Lily receives a letter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so excited about this chapter! Enjoy, and please continue to review!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James and Lily didn't speak for several days. Not even during the Prefects Meeting. They simply referred to each other as the "Head Boy" and "Head Girl" when they spoke about the other one. After getting on so well for over a year, it had their friends quite worried. </p><p> </p><p>"I haven't seen Lily this mad since the incident by the lake," Marlene muttered. One night while Lily and James were sulking in opposite corners of the Common Room, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were consulting with each other about the Lily and James situation and how best to diffuse it. "James has really fucked up this time."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, come off it," Sirius interjected. "It's not all his fault. I think Lily overreacted a bit."</p><p> </p><p>"I have to agree with Marlene on this one," Remus said thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>"What?!" Sirius exclaimed. He was very protective of his best friend. "All he did was stand up for his woman. What's so wrong with that?"</p><p> </p><p>"First of all, she's not his woman," Remus started. "Women aren't property, Sirius. So just never say that again. Second, this is not the first time they have had this disagreement. Lily has requested several times that James not fight her battles for her."</p><p> </p><p>"Even so," Sirius started. "This is becoming ridiculous! They haven't said so much as three words to each other since last week!" </p><p> </p><p>"I'll give you that," Marlene said. "They are both being little shits about this whole thing if you ask me."</p><p> </p><p>"They both fucked up, and they know it," Peter defended. "If they just apologized, we could all move past this. They're clearly fucking miserable without each other."</p><p> </p><p>Peter was right. James and Lily had been utter nightmares to be around for the last week. James was driving the Quidditch team harder than ever, becoming a complete tyrant. The team was so fed up; they were preparing to revolt. Lily was doing no better, taking out her frustration on the poor students who disturbed her brooding. Lily had given more detentions in one week than McGonagall gave in a month. </p><p> </p><p>"Peter's right," Remus admitted. "But I don't think either one of them is going to relent soon. They are both too bloody stubborn."</p><p> </p><p>"So, we are at an impasse then," Marlene said.</p><p> </p><p>"Seems like it," Remus agreed.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Things were getting so bad that even Professor McGonagall took notice. When she asked to speak with James after class, he knew it couldn't be good, but he tried to be optimistic and assume she might want to about Quidditch. He was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>"Is there a problem between you and Miss Evans?" McGonagall was never one to beat around the bush; something James greatly admired about her.</p><p> </p><p>"Wh-What do you mean, Professor?" James asked innocently, even though he knew he wasn't fooling anyone.</p><p> </p><p>She glared at him over the top of her glasses. <em>Even after seven years, that woman can still manage to instill a deep-rooted fear in me with one look</em>, James thought as he withered under her glare. </p><p> </p><p>"Mr. Potter, you and Miss Evans haven't spoken one word to each other in my class all week. And I have it on good authority you two were very curt with each other in the Prefects meeting last night," McGonagall replied. "Now, what did you do?" </p><p> </p><p>"Me? Why do you assume it was me?" James exclaimed. McGonagall simply looked at him in response. "Nothing happened. We are fine."</p><p> </p><p>McGonagall considered this for a moment before responding. "I hope so, Mr. Potter. The Head Boy and Girl <em>must</em> have good working relations. Must I remind you that both of you set an example for the school, so don't embarrass me, Mr. Potter."</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, ma'am," James replied.</p><p> </p><p>"Very well, you may go." James turned and had made it to the door when McGonagall called out to him. "My advice, Mr. Potter, just apologize for whatever it is you did."</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, ma'am," James mumbled again before leaving. <em>I swear, nothing gets by that woman</em>.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>James and Lily’s feud continued for over a week, much to the displeasure of their friends and fellow classmates. A few days after his conversation with McGonagall, and nearly two weeks after their initial fight, James was finally forced to interact with Lily. They were on rounds together and had been patrolling in strained silence for around twenty minutes. </p><p> </p><p><em>This is getting ridiculous</em>, James thought. <em>I should probably just apologize</em>. While James was still pissed at Lily for her reaction, he could understand why she reacted the way she did. When they declared a truce last year, she had explicitly asked him not to underestimate her. While he knows Lily is more than capable of protecting herself, James can't help but intervene whenever she's in trouble. James was terrified by the thought of Lily getting hurt; he literally had nightmares about it. But he didn't know how to explain that to her in a platonic way.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, I –" James started. He was interrupted by a certain greasy-haired someone retreating down the corridor. Even though his back was facing Lily and James, it was obvious who the lurker was. <em>I would recognize that greasy hair anywhere</em>, James thought. Snape was still walking backward when Lily let out a startled gasp and jumped into the nearest broom cupboard.</p><p> </p><p>Snape finally turned around at Lily's gasp to come face-to-face with James.</p><p> </p><p>"Snivellus, what are you doing out of bed?" James demanded.</p><p> </p><p>"That's none of your business, Potter," Snape sneered.</p><p> </p><p>"Afraid it is my business actually since I'm Head Boy," James replied. "Let's see, I think ten points from Slytherin for being out after curfew and detention for your cheek. I'm feeling generous tonight, take it or leave it."</p><p> </p><p>Snape was fuming. "Where is Lily tonight? Isn't she your patrol partner?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm afraid she's none of your business either. You lost that privilege a long time ago."</p><p> </p><p>"She'll never want you," Severus taunted.</p><p> </p><p>"Who?" James asked, feigning confusion. <em>As if I don't know who he's talking about</em>. </p><p> </p><p>"Lily. She doesn't like you," Severus pointed out the obvious.</p><p> </p><p>"Apparently she doesn't like you either," James played it cool on the outside, but he was fuming on the inside. <em>How dare he talk about her like he knows her at all anymore</em>. James probably would have exploded already if Lily hadn't been hiding in the broom cupboard, listening to their entire conversation. </p><p> </p><p>"Why do you bother? It's not like there aren't a million other girls that wouldn't sleep with you. Why her?" Severus asked. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't just want to sleep with her. She's not some prize to be won," James said disgusted. "I care about her."</p><p> </p><p>"You still didn't answer my question, why her?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Because she's the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. Because of the adorable way her eyebrows kink when she's frustrated or thinking really hard. Because she has the purest heart and the best intentions</em>. James could go on and on about reasons why he cares about Lily Evans. But since she was still in the broom cupboard and listening to every word he said, James simply replied, "I think you know why." Severus thought about that for a moment. He looked at James with a knowing look in his eyes. "Now get out of my sight before I give you detention for a month."</p><p> </p><p>Severus gave James a departing glare and fled the corridor. Lily waited a few more moments before she exited the broom cupboard. </p><p> </p><p>"Thanks," Lily mumbled while focusing on her feet.</p><p> </p><p>"I told you I would handle all the men you were trying so adamantly to avoid," James smirked at her. "But really, this is your fault. Maybe if you weren't so bloody fanciable, you wouldn't run into this problem."</p><p> </p><p>Lily's face dropped, and James immediately felt guilty. "Shit, Lily, I'm sorry," he scrambled. "That was supposed to be a joke. I mean not the part about you being fanciable, that's true. I mean that it's your fault. It's obviously not your fault. It's all those stupid gits faults. Myself included."</p><p> </p><p>Lily stared at him for a moment, and James's heart stopped. <em>I've really done myself in this time</em>. To his surprise, Lily started laughing, like really laughing. Face red, belly grabbing, hunched over the wall laughing.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry," Lily choked while wiping tears away from her face. "It's really not funny, but you should see your face."</p><p> </p><p>And then James was laughing, too. James and Lily stood there laughing and unable to breathe for around five minutes before either one of them could collect themselves again.</p><p> </p><p>"You were wrong about one thing, James," Lily finally said after they were both able to catch their breath.</p><p> </p><p>"Just one?" James smirked. "Alright, let's hear it. What was I wrong about?"</p><p> </p><p>"Most men are insufferable, idiotic gits," Lily started, and James's heart plummeted. Then she smiled at him and added, "But you are not most men, James Potter."</p><p> </p><p>"And that's a good thing?" James asked, unsure.</p><p> </p><p>"That is a very good thing," Lily assured him. She paused a moment before continuing. "Thank you for covering for me back there. Even though it's been nearly two years, it's still hard for me to deal with him."</p><p> </p><p>"You don't have to thank me." James insisted. "I can only imagine how hard it was for you to go through all that."</p><p> </p><p>Lily scoffed. "You don't even like Severus."</p><p> </p><p>"No, he's a right, nasty git. But I do know what it's like to have a best friend. If I lost Sirius, or Remus or Peter the way you did Snape, well, I reckon I wouldn't be able to face them either. I don't think I could ever recover from it."</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled at him, gratefully. "I know I shouldn't let it upset me as much as it does. But what most people don't understand is that we were friends before Hogwarts."</p><p> </p><p>James was genuinely shocked by this news, and his face showed it. "I had no idea. I guess I should have realized, though. Dunno how else you two could have become so close being in two houses that hate each other."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, we've been friends since we were nine years old. We both grew up in Cokeworth. Severus was the first person to tell me I was a witch. He told me all about Hogwarts and the wizarding world. For so long, he was my only connection to this world, and I think he used that to his advantage.</p><p> </p><p>"I remember when we came home for breaks, and some days I would wake up convinced that this was all a dream. But then I would see Severus and remember that it's real. That <em>this</em> is my life; my world. Being friends with Severus was never easy. He never liked the Muggle side of me. He was always horrible to my sister, Petunia. I think he's a big reason why our relationship deteriorated the way it did. He was even rude to my parents.</p><p> </p><p>"When we were at school, it was easier for him to pretend that I wasn't Muggle-born that I was just like everyone else. Of course, that was before he started really hanging around those fucking Death Eaters. For years, I had to watch and listen as they corrupted him even more. He was always talking about Muggle-borns as though they were somehow beneath him. He would assure me that I was different, though. But I'm not. I'm not different. If he hates Muggle-borns, he hates me. I think he finally started to realize that he couldn't have them and me. And he chose them. I'm sad about it sometimes. But I know I'm much better off without him in my life."</p><p> </p><p>James was quiet all through Lily's speech, and he was quiet now as he considered what she said. He had many things to say in response, but James didn't think Lily would appreciate his thoughts on how Snape's a fucking bastard, and he should go rot in hell. <em>Somehow, I think she already knows that. </em></p><p> </p><p>"Lily, I am so sorry. I had no idea. Now I feel like an even bigger jackass for making him say that stuff to you by the lake."</p><p> </p><p>"James, don't," Lily said fiercely. "You didn't make him say anything to me he already didn't feel. You might have driven him there, but you by no means forced him to call me that. If anything, I should thank you. That was the final straw for me. Who knows how long I might have dragged that friendship on if that hadn't happened.'</p><p> </p><p>"Even still, no one should have to lose a friend like that."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I try to look at it like I lost one best friend, but gained four more," Lily smiled at him sweetly. </p><p> </p><p>James insides warmed at the thought that not only did Lily consider <em>him</em> one of her best friends, but his three best friends as well. Even though the Marauders had only been hanging out with Lily and Marlene for a year, their little group didn't feel complete without the two girls there. They somehow managed to complete them. Maybe it had something to do with Lily and Marlene bringing some grace and dignity to the circle (well, Lily did, Marlene was just as senseless as the rest of them).</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, you know we love you and Marlene. Our group doesn't feel complete anymore without you two around. And as part of our group, that means we stick up for each other. Whenever I see one of my friends being threatened, I just react. I usually don't even think about what I'm doing before I do it. So, I'm sorry if I overstepped last week by intervening. I know you like to fight your battles on your own."</p><p> </p><p>Lily was thoughtful for a moment. "Thank you for apologizing. While I like to defend myself, that doesn't mean I always have to. I'm sorry for overreacting the way I did. You didn't deserve me yelling at you."</p><p> </p><p>"No, I totally did. I just saw you and Sirius on the Map surrounded by a horde of Slytherin gits, and I panicked. I didn't even think about it when I ran off, dragging Remus and Peter along with me. All I saw was two of my favorite people in the world in danger, and I just jumped into action."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm one of your favorite people in the world?" Lily asked, clearly taken aback. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, yeah," James said, as though it was obvious. </p><p> </p><p>Lily looked at him for a moment, and he thought for sure she was going to hex him. But then she did something that surprised him. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped him in a warm hug.</p><p> </p><p><em>Is she hugging me? Oh my god, she's hugging me. I'm hugging Lily fucking Evans. This is amazing!</em> James, after the initial shock wore off, wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her right back, and he swore there was no better place in the world. Not to mention Lily smelled amazing. <em>Like lavender and vanilla.</em></p><p> </p><p>For a few minutes, they remained like that, embraced in each other's arms. Neither one of them wanted to be the first to pull away, but Lily was the one who finally broke their hug. She awkwardly cleared her throat and took a step back. She was blushing fiercely when she finally said, "So, rounds?"</p><p> </p><p>"Rounds." James smiled at her, and she smiled sweetly back.</p><p>                               </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next day at breakfast, their friends were pleasantly surprised to see Lily and James enjoying their meals together, talking and laughing as though nothing ever happened.</p><p> </p><p>"Fucking finally," Sirius groaned as they plopped down next to them. "We were all getting so tired of how pathetic and miserable you two were without each other."</p><p> </p><p>Lily and James blushed furiously. Remus smacked Sirius. "Don't be such an idiot."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I, for one, am glad this is all over," Marlene declared. "It was getting dreadfully dull watching you two fight. Not to mention, we can finally have our Captain back."</p><p> </p><p>"I wasn't that bad, was I?" James asked incredulously. </p><p> </p><p>Sirius and Marlene just glared at him. "You know I love you," Sirius started. "But the entire team was plotting ways to throw you off your broom and make it look like an accident."</p><p> </p><p>Everyone but James laughed at this. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the post. An owl that James didn't recognize flew right up to Lily and dropped a letter in her lap. She picked it up to examine it and stared at it like she had seen a ghost. </p><p> </p><p>"Lily?" Marlene asked hesitantly. "What is it?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's a letter," Lily said while continuing to stare at the envelope.</p><p> </p><p>"No shit," Sirius scoffed. She kicked him under the table. "Oww!"</p><p> </p><p>She continued to stare at the envelope in horror. "It's from Andrew."</p><p> </p><p>"Goldstein?" James exclaimed. He was horrified to hear the high-pitched tremor in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," Lily looked cautiously at him. "I have to go."</p><p> </p><p>She jumped up and practically ran out of the Great Hall.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, this should be interesting," Sirius said.</p><p> </p><p>"This is going to be hell," Marlene corrected before she also got up and followed Lily out of the Great Hall.</p><p> </p><p>As James watched the two girls exit the hall, he felt as though he was watching his chances with Lily walk right away with them. James remembered all too well when Lily dated Andrew. It had been the worst six months of his life. He had just started to come to terms with his feelings for Lily and watching her with another man had been heartbreaking. The worst part of it wasn't watching the two of them kiss in the corridor before class or snuggle in the Common Room (although it certainly wasn't pleasant to witness); the worst part was watching the shitty way Andrew treated Lily all throughout their relationship. Even before Andrew cheated on Lily, he hadn't been a great boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>James had watched while Andrew forced Lily to quiz him while she was trying to study in the library. He claimed he needed all the help he could get since he was preparing for his N.E.W.T.S. and insisted that she didn't need to study as much because "fourth year was such a breeze." </p><p> </p><p>James had watched Lily wait for Andrew for hours after he had said he would meet her for their dates, and the only excuse he could offer her was, "I got busy with my friends." </p><p> </p><p>James had watched how uncomfortable Lily would get when Andrew started touching her in public. She would shove his hands away two or three times before Andrew would complain loudly about what a prude she was before storming off. </p><p> </p><p>James had watched as Lily became nearly a ghost of what she had been before, and it broke his heart to see her suffer like that.</p><p> </p><p>"What does that asshole want with Lily?" James said through gritted teeth. "Hasn't he done enough damage?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know," Remus said. "But whatever it is, it can't be good."</p><p> </p><p>"You got that right, Moony," James replied.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At least Lily and James made up! Next chapter we find out what Lily's letter says! Also, we will see some Darlene!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter Fourteen: Completely Hopeless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily reads her letter. She has another heart to heart with Sirius. He reveals a surprsing secret. They strike a deal.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, did this chapter take forever! I've been feeling a little down about the world lately and have not had any inspiration or motivation. Hopefully, you all are enjoying this story, if you are I would love for you to drop a note and let me know :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One week later, Lily still had not opened her letter. Every night before bed, she would sit and clutch the letter firmly, simply willing herself to open it. And every night, without fail, she would wimp out and place it back in her bedside table. Part of her wanted to tear it to shreds without even reading it. <em> Would serve him right </em> , Lily thought, bitterly. The other part of her was dying to know what Andrew wrote. She foolishly wondered if he was finally going to apologize for cheating on her.  <em> If he's just apologizing, why am I so scared? </em></p><p> </p><p>While Lily grappled with indecisiveness, her friends were not shy about sharing their thoughts. <em> Although I didn't exactly ask for their opinions,  </em>Lily thought as she sat with Dorcas and Marlene in the library having a very heated discussion on the matter. Marlene was all for shredding the letter and had offered to do it herself. Dorcas, ever the Ravenclaw, thought that was pointless.</p><p> </p><p>"Part of you will always wonder what it said. Besides, what would shredding it do?" Dorcas said, calmly. She had always been able to maintain much more decorum when arguing compared to Marlene.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you kidding!?" Marlene exclaimed. "That asshole doesn't deserve any more of her time. He had his chance three years ago, and he fucking blew it."</p><p> </p><p>"I know that," Dorcas argued. "But, shredding his letter won't take back what he did. You can't change what happened. So, you might as well see if he at least had the decency to finally apologize. Even if he is three years late."</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, you could control the narrative," Marlene insisted, completely ignoring Dorcas's point.</p><p> </p><p>"Disregarding someone's account isn't controlling the narrative," Dorcas reasoned. "How can you control the narrative if you don't have all the facts? If anything, reading the letter would give Lily closure. She could officially close the chapter of this book."</p><p> </p><p>"No, that doesn't make any sense –" Marlene started. Lily rolled her eyes. The two of them had been bickering for at least ten minutes on the subject. Their incessant arguing was another reason that Marlene and Dorcas had yet to get together, with Marlene's crippling fear of commitment being the number one reason.</p><p> </p><p><em> Well, they say there's a thin line between love and hate, </em>  Lily thought as she watched the two girls argue.  <em> Those two will be the death of me. </em></p><p> </p><p>As Marlene and Dorcas continued their disagreement, Lily thought of James Potter, and how crushed his face looked after she received the letter. He continued to walk around like a sad puppy all week, and every time he looked at Lily, it seemed like his heart was breaking all over again. She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and say she's sorry, which was foolish because Lily certainly hadn't done anything. <em> It's not like I asked my ex-boyfriend to write me three years after we'd broken up.   </em></p><p> </p><p>Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "I thought we were supposed to be studying. <em> Not </em> dissecting my love life. I can't even hear myself think with you two arguing. Why don't you two just snog and get it over with already."</p><p> </p><p>Without even pausing to take pleasure in the shocked expressions and bright blushes on their faces, Lily grabbed her books and left Marlene and Dorcas to their puzzlement.</p><p> </p><p>In a blind rage, Lily marched down the hallway, barely even registering where she was going. "Three bloody years," Lily mumbled to herself. "He doesn't speak to me for three bloody years, and still, he manages to get this kind of reaction out of me. That son of a bitch—" Lily's rambling was cut short when she walked straight into someone, sending her and her books tumbling to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned as she started collecting her things. She only looked up when she heard a familiar voice say, "We really need to stop meeting like this." She glanced up and saw James Potter kneeling in front of her wearing his classic smirk.</p><p> </p><p>She was so angry still that her heart only fluttered a little bit, as opposed to the usual backflip it did when talking to James. "What do you want, Potter?" she huffed.</p><p> </p><p>"Ouch, not very friendly tonight," James said while reaching down to help her.</p><p> </p><p>She sighed. "I'm sorry. I was just in the library, and Marlene and Dorcas were arguing again. I just couldn't take it anymore."</p><p> </p><p>Once James and Lily had gathered all her belongings, they stood up, he handed her a few books, and she smiled in response. "Ahh, I see. What was it this time?" James smirked. Marlene and Dorcas's electric sexual tension was infamous at Hogwarts. There was a long-running pool about when the two of them would finally swallow their pride and get together.</p><p> </p><p>"Er—it was actually about me," Lily muttered. "And my letter from Andrew."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh," James was no longer smiling. "Uh, what did it say?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that's the thing," Lily rubbed her neck in embarrassment. "I haven't actually read it."</p><p> </p><p>"What are you waiting for?" James asked, confused.</p><p> </p><p>Lily sighed. "Well, part of me doesn't think he deserves any more of my time. Sometimes I just think about burning the dammed thing and forgetting about it altogether. But the other part of me is curious to know what he says. I just can't help but wonder why he would reach out after three years."</p><p> </p><p>"That boy fucked up with you, Lily. To be clear, he never deserved your time, but after what he did, he lost all privileges to your heart," James started, heatedly. Lily had rarely seen him so worked up about anything before. "By contemplating this decision, you are giving him power over you again. At the end of the day, it's just a letter. It's just words on a piece of parchment, and they will only affect you if you let them. Read it, don't read it, but don't let him control you again. You're too good for that, and you deserve better."</p><p> </p><p>With that, he turned and continued on his way, leaving Lily alone in the corridor. <em> Don't let him control you again. </em> James had given her the best piece of advice she'd received all week.</p><p> </p><p>Lily had forgotten how much she let Andrew push her around. When they had started dating, she was young and naïve; she had thought that since <em> he </em>  chose  <em> her </em> , it meant she had to do everything in her power to keep him happy and interested. So, she put up with his shit and rarely complained. That was honestly the worst part of their relationship. It wasn't that he cheated on her (don't get her wrong, that fucking  <em> sucked </em>), it was that she had completely lost herself in that relationship.</p><p> </p><p><em> Read it, don't read it, but don't let him control you again</em>. Lily knew it didn't matter whether she read the letter or not. Either way, she would not let Andrew Goldstein have any part of her again. Not her body, not her mind, and sure as hell, not her heart.</p><p> </p><p>With James' words in her heart, she set off for the Astronomy Tower, because after everything she'd gone through this week, Merlin knows she needed a cigarette or two.</p><p> </p><p>Once she was there, with a cigarette to calm her nerves, she tentatively opened the letter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Lily, </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>            How are you? I hope you've been well and are enjoying your final year at Hogwarts. I have heard from people in the Ministry that you are Head Girl. Congratulations! That is a great accomplishment, Lily, and you should be proud. A source tells me that you have hopes of entering the Ministry of Magic after Hogwarts. I would strongly advise you against this course of action. With everything going on in the world, your kind is in an extremely vulnerable position. While the Ministry won't come out and say it, they are not exactly keen on hiring Muggle-borns right now. I would hate to see you get your hopes up. I only say this because I care about you. Perhaps it might be best for you to take shelter in the Muggle world once you finish school. I only want what's best for you. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Send my best to Mary and Marlene.   </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Sincerely,  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Andrew Goldstein </em>
</p><p> </p><p>After Lily finished reading, she couldn't help but feel seething rage. <em> I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this.  </em> She had gotten all worked up, only to be reminded what an ignorant and selfish bastard he was.  <em> Had I really expected a profound and heartfelt apology from Andrew Goldstein?  </em>Lily didn't know who should feel more foolish; Andrew for being a fucking prat that clearly hadn't changed one bit, or Lily for actually expecting more from him. Not to mention the mention of Mary... <em>How dare he ever mention her name to me!</em></p><p>Without giving it another thought, she took her lighter back out and held the letter up to the flame. She watched as Andrew's condescending words burned. She wished she could burn his words from her brain, but alas, she would just have to settle for burning the parchment.</p><p> </p><p>"Stupid, rotten, fucking twat," Lily mumbled as the letter burned.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily, that's no way to talk about James when he's not here," Lily gasped and whipped her head around. Sirius Black was leaning against a telescope and watching her with amusement.</p><p> </p><p>"Shit!" Lily yelped. She had held onto the burning parchment for too long, and her fingers had gotten scorched in the process. She dropped the letter and started shaking her hand, as though that would have any effect on her pain. "What are you doing here, Black?"</p><p> </p><p>"Same as you, I imagine," he stomped the letter's flame out with his boot. "This is where we come to smoke and vent about our man issues, yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>"Sure," Lily eyed him suspiciously. Much like the last time, she wordlessly offered him a cigarette, and he gratefully accepted.</p><p> </p><p>"So, you finally read the letter from Goldstein?" Sirius inquired after he had settled on the ground next to her.</p><p> </p><p>"Yup," Lily responded, popping the "p."</p><p> </p><p>"Want to talk about it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Nope," Lily deadpanned.</p><p> </p><p>They continued to smoke in silence. While Lily was satisfied with her decision to read the letter, she couldn't help but slightly regret not burning it earlier. <em> What a waste of my bloody time. </em></p><p> </p><p>Lily groaned loudly. "Why are men such shit?"</p><p> </p><p>"Not all men," Lily turned to watch Sirius. His words were vaguely reminiscent of her conversation with James from last week. <em> You are not most men, James Potter</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Lily studied Sirius, <em>really </em>studied him. His expression was similar, <em>very </em>similar to the one she has when she thinks about James. <em>Too similar… </em> "Sirius, who is he?"</p><p> </p><p>"What?" Sirius stared at her with a shocked expression. "What are you talking about."</p><p> </p><p>"Sirius, you can tell me," Lily said gently.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius smoked his cigarette and gazed out onto the grounds thoughtfully. Lily didn't push him. She had played this game before with Marlene when she came out to Lily as bisexual. She had faith that when the time was right, Sirius would share what he was comfortable with.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily," Sirius said solemnly. "I'm gay."</p><p> </p><p>Lily looked at him for a moment before embracing him in a warm and tight hug.</p><p> </p><p>"What is this?" Sirius asked in disgust.</p><p> </p><p>"It's called a hug, Black," Lily replied. "And if you're going to be my friend, you're going to have to get used to it."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius hesitated for a moment before giving in and hugging her back. "I didn't exactly grow up in a warm and accepting family. Raised by wolves, remember?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, we will just have to change that. Thank you for telling me," Lily said, finally releasing Sirius. "Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place."</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you, Evans," Sirius said sincerely.</p><p> </p><p>"So, I repeat my question," Lily challenged. "Who is he?"</p><p> </p><p>"He's someone I dated a few years ago. We only went out for a few months, but it was amazing. Then I had to go and fuck it all up."</p><p> </p><p>"Did you love him?"</p><p> </p><p>"I still do," Sirius admitted.</p><p> </p><p>Lily was thoughtful for a moment. <em>This story seems strangely familiar</em>, Lily thought to herself. <em>It sounds just like the story Remus was telling me…. REMUS?! </em></p><p> </p><p>Lily let out an odd squeak at her realization. Sirius raised an eyebrow at her but didn't push it. <em> Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!  </em> Lily tried her best to process this information calmly, but she just couldn't believe that Remus and Sirius had dated, and she had had no idea. Although she had to admit that they actually made a lot of sense together. The worst part for her was knowing they both still loved each other, but neither of them wanted to confess it.  <em> Bloody idiots. </em></p><p> </p><p>Lily cleared her throat. "So, this boy, do you think he still loves you?" <em> Because I </em><strong><em>know </em></strong><em>he does. </em></p><p> </p><p>"He does, not in the way I do, though. We are just friends," Sirius clarified with a sigh.</p><p> </p><p><em> I fucking knew it. </em>"Well, I wouldn't give up just yet. There's always hope."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius smiled at her. "You might want to take your own advice, Evans."</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?" Lily snapped.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius smirked at her. "Don't play coy, Evans. It's not a good look on you."</p><p> </p><p>Lily glared at him. "If you're not going to say what you mean, you can just leave."</p><p> </p><p>Sirius laughed. "I just mean, don't be afraid to take a chance. He's worth it."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know who you're talking about," Lily firmly maintained while sporting a deep blush that she knew was a dead giveaway.</p><p> </p><p>"Deny all you want, honey," Sirius smirked, "But we all know how you really feel."</p><p> </p><p>"Does he?" Lily muttered barely above a whisper while steadfastly staring at her feet.</p><p> </p><p>"No, he's too bloody stupid," Sirius scoffed. "I can't tell you what to do. I'll just say we live in a very uncertain world, and you shouldn't waste time being scared of something like love."</p><p> </p><p>"Wow, Sirius, that was very profound," Lily praised.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius shrugged. "I have my moments."</p><p> </p><p>Lily studied him for a moment. "Let's both agree right now that we won't be afraid to try. Or, in your case, try again."</p><p> </p><p>She held out her hand. Sirius considered her for a moment and eyed Lily's hand wearily. "Alright, Evans. Deal. But I'm only doing this because I love Prongs so much, and I want to see him happy."</p><p> </p><p>"Right, because you have no ulterior motive whatsoever," Lily rolled her eyes at him.</p><p> </p><p>"You watch your cheek, Evans. Or I might just tell James how you feel," Sirius joked.</p><p> </p><p>"Then I might just tell Remus how you feel," Lily retorted.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius gaped at her, all joking gone. "I never said it was Remus."</p><p> </p><p>"I never said it was James." They glared at each other for a moment. Lily felt a little guilty about calling Sirius out, but he had served a low blow by threatening to tell James first.</p><p> </p><p>"Touché." They were quiet once more. Lily could tell Sirius was deciding whether he could trust Lily or not. She could tell because she was doing the exact same thing.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius had trusted Lily with his biggest secret, she could trust him with hers. "It's James," she admitted sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>"I know," Sirius offered her a small smile. "It's Remus."</p><p> </p><p>"I know," Lily rested her head on his shoulder. "So, that's what you meant when you said I wasn't your type?"</p><p> </p><p>Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Yes, Lily. Women aren't exactly my type."</p><p> </p><p>"Fair enough," Lily replied. "Marlene'll be crushed, though." They both laughed.</p><p> </p><p>"She'll get over it," Sirius shrugged. "Besides, she has Dorcas."</p><p> </p><p>"True," Lily agreed. "We're all hopeless, aren't we?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, completely hopeless!" Sirius exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>And with that, they finished their cigarettes and headed off towards Gryffindor Tower, neither one feeling particularly happy, but both comforted by the fact they weren't in this alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Don't smoke kids, it's bad! But, I'm going for historical accuracy, and it was the 70's! Also, did anyone catch the obvious B99 refernece? Captain Holt is just so motivational!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter Fifteen: Just Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James and Lily spend an evening alone in the Head's Office</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I LIVE! Sorry for the long wait for an update. Hopefully, it's worth the wait!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily was tired. She was exhausted both mentally and physically; the first few weeks of school had left her drained. <em>School, and the emotional turmoil that is caused by fancying James Potter</em>, she thought. All Lily wanted to do was sleep. But alas, she had fallen shamefully behind on her Head's duties, which is why after dinner, she was planning on going straight to the Head's Office as opposed to snuggling up in her favorite armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. She was already developing a headache just thinking about all the work she had to do.</p><p> </p><p>As she was leaving the Great Hall, she was stopped by Professor Slughorn. "Lily, my dear, have you been able to work on the little project I assigned you?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck</em>, Lily thought as she realized she had <em>definitely</em> not asked James about his schedule yet. She had meant to, she really had, but she had been swamped with schoolwork, and then she and James got into a fight and didn't talk for two weeks….</p><p> </p><p>"Professor Slughorn, I am so sorry I haven't asked him yet," Lily apologized.</p><p> </p><p>"Not to worry," Slughorn didn't seem deterred at all. "Try and let me know by tomorrow, yes?"</p><p> </p><p>"Absolutely," Lily assured him. <em>Great, now I have to add "find James Potter" to my list of things to do tonight.</em></p><p> </p><p>Lily looked, but not very hard. She decided she would catch him at breakfast the next morning and headed for the Head's Office instead. She really needed to get started on her paperwork, which is how Lily found herself still working on it nearly two hours later, when she was startled half to death by a visitor.</p><p> </p><p>She had been diligently working when James Potter barged into the Head's Office, nearly giving her a heart attack. "Lily!" he seemed surprised to see her sitting there. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in here."</p><p> </p><p>He slammed the door shut behind him. It took Lily a few seconds to recover from the sudden and disruptive appearance of James Potter. "What are you --"</p><p> </p><p>James ran over and clamped his hand over Lily's mouth and placed a finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet. They both listened as footsteps approached the office. There was a brief knock on the door. "James? Are you in here?"</p><p> </p><p>Lily quickly recognized the voice of Mary MacDonald. Her eyes flashed to James, with a look of utmost disgust. He maintained his stony silence, ignoring Mary's incessant knocks and calls on the other side of the door. "James? It's Mary! I tried to catch you after dinner, but you ran off. James, are you there?"</p><p> </p><p>After nearly five minutes, Mary finally gave up, and Lily and James listened as her footsteps silenced in the distance.</p><p> </p><p>James finally relaxed his position and released his hand from Lily's mouth. "What the bloody hell was that about?" Lily exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry!" James said. "She has been hounding me since dinner. I didn't know how else to get rid of her. I didn't realize you would be in here. I didn't mean to interrupt you."</p><p> </p><p>"It's not a problem." Lily didn't admit that his was a welcomed presence to her solitude.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing here?" James asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I've been appallingly neglectful of my Head Girl duties and needed to get through some of this paperwork backlog before McGonagall gets on my case," Lily admitted sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>James smirked at her. "Sounds like a job for the Head Boy. Need help?"</p><p> </p><p>"Sure." Lily smiled brightly at him.</p><p> </p><p>They worked together for another hour, laughing and talking about whatever came to mind. <em>This is so easy</em>, Lily noticed with a warm heart. She didn't often find herself alone with James, but it was always a delightful surprise when she did.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Mary Macdonald?" Lily broached the subject. "She's on the Potter train again?"</p><p> </p><p>James sighed. "Don't remind me. She's been relentlessly asking me out; it's been driving me crazy!"</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm, someone relentlessly asking you out despite your very obvious protests," Lily feigned confusion. "I wonder what that must be like?"</p><p> </p><p>James groaned. "Lily, I am so sorry if this is really what it was like for you. God, I really am such a prat. I totally deserve this."</p><p> </p><p>While Lily knew she could continue to take the mickey out of him, she found herself feeling a little sympathetic to him. She knew how determined Mary could be when she was in pursuit of a lover. Not to mention, Lily suddenly found herself very defensive of James…. <em>Because we are friends</em>… she told herself weakly.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry about it," Lily shrugged. "How long has this been going on anyway?"</p><p> </p><p>James suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Er, since we fought a few weeks ago actually."</p><p> </p><p>Lily looked confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"</p><p> </p><p>James blushed fiercely and suddenly became very interested in his shoes. "Oh well, I guess there's been some rumors going around…. About us…. Being romantically involved…."</p><p> </p><p>It was Lily's turn to blush now. "Oh. I hadn't heard about that."</p><p> </p><p>James cleared his throat. "Yeah, I didn't hear about it until Mary asked me if we had broken up after our fight. I told her we hadn't even been dating. She took that as an invitation to ask me out, several times, and she can't take no for an answer."</p><p> </p><p>"So, you figured avoiding her was the best option?" Lily asked, amused.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I'm not as witty as you, so I can't think of snappy rejections like you can," James smirked.</p><p> </p><p>Lily laughed. "Don't sell yourself short, Potter."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm just trying to get out of going out with her this weekend, and I am horrible of thinking of excuses," James admitted dejectedly.</p><p> </p><p>Lily suddenly had a brilliant idea and saw this as her opening to fulfill Slughorn's request. "Well, I have an idea," Lily suggested slyly.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm listening," James smirked.</p><p> </p><p>"Why don't you accompany me to an event Saturday night? We can just go as friends, but Mary doesn't need to know that"</p><p> </p><p>James smiled. "I like the way you think, Evans. What is the event?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh no, you have to agree to come with me before I tell you. And you have to promise not to back out."</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm, blindly agree to spend a night with Lily Evans? I think I can get on board with that."</p><p> </p><p>"So, we have an accord?"</p><p> </p><p>"Lily Evans, I solemnly swear I will be your date to whatever horrible event you have signed us up for tomorrow evening," James said with a hand over his heart.</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled. "Great! We are going to Slughorn's dinner."</p><p> </p><p>"Ugh," James groaned. "Well, alright. As long as you'll be there."</p><p> </p><p>Lily smiled at him. "Great! Meet me in the Common Room at 7:00 pm Saturday night."</p><p> </p><p>"I wouldn't miss it." They smiled at each other for a moment before blushing fiercely and returning to their work. It is unclear how much work was actually getting done because both of them were internally freaking out at what just happened. However, instead of discussing their feelings like rational adults, they found it best to crush their feelings down until the other admitted to them first… or until they withered and died. Whichever came first.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, they managed to settle their thoughts long enough to catch up on all their paperwork.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks for your help, James. I don't know how long it would have taken me without you," Lily said gratefully.</p><p> </p><p>"Please, this is just as much your job as it mine. I'm Head Boy, remember?" James pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>"True. Maybe I should just make you do all the work from now on," Lily joked. James laughed in response. "So, would you like to accompany me to the kitchens for a late-night snack?" Lily asked.</p><p> </p><p>James's smile fell, and he checked his watch. "Lily, I would love to. Really, I would like nothing better. But unfortunately, I have plans."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh," Lily said, her smile faltering. "That's fine."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm so sorry," James repeated. "But I'll see you later, yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, of course," Lily assured him.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry again, Lily," James said. He gave her one last pained look before he took off down the corridor, in the complete opposite direction of the Gryffindor Common Room.</p><p> </p><p><em>Where is he going?</em> Lily wondered.<em> Is he meeting another girl?</em> Lily’s worries plague her thoughts, and instead of dreaming about her upcoming “date” with James Potter, she tossed and turned for most of the night wondering what he could be hiding from her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was a filler chapter as we keep moving right along in the master plot to get these two clueless idiots together.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please Review!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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